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 Post subject: Finding Compassion after the Death of a Loved One
PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 11:34 pm 
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Joined: Tue Nov 20, 2007 11:31 pm
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Two years ago, I lost my brother (24) due to a car accident. To deal with my grief, I created a website to honor his life and allow his family and friends to remember him, share stories, and help each other get through the hard times. I am currently in graduate school and am doing a research project that asks the question “Do grievers find a sense of compassion online, and if so, how does it compare to grieving through traditional means?â€


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 Post subject: questios,
PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 6:51 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 3:44 am
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1) Do you find compassion offline from people sharing in your grief (family and friends)? Do you ever avoid expressing your feelings to other grievers in fear of upsetting them? If so, does this motivate you to instead seek compassion online, where you can interact with other people actively seeking help? Or do you shy away from discussing death online with strangers because you are unaware of their sensitivity to the subject or how they will react?


The support and understanding I get from online comes from people that need the same in return , generly the freinds and family while do understand they tend to advise me to "get on with life" or she's gone except it", I know she is gone I know my life will go on , what I need at times is a shoulder to cry on or a safe place to vent , I get this online ,again from people needing the same .



2) Do you find compassion from people offline who have experienced similar experiences with death (but unrelated to yours)? Are you more likely to seek compassion from others in your community (i.e. through bereavement groups) or from the millions of people online? Both



3) Do you find it hard to reach out for help in fear of being rejected or that your feelings will be minimized? Does the possibility of grieving online alleviate some of this fear? Do new fears arise online – that people will be insensitive and make hurtful comments? Have you ever experienced this online or offline? I have experienced 'insensitive and make hurtful comments' more offline , never online


4) Did the compassion you received after the death of a loved one diminish over time (did people stop visiting or calling to make sure you were okay)? If so, did this cause you to seek new people to talk to in your community or online? If you’ve ever established a compassionate relationship online after the death of a loved one, did you experience a similar decline in compassion over time? it diminished almost immedetitly because people have work and families and need to 'take care of daily life' that don't mean they don't care it just means 'life goes on' but for the person grieving life as we knew it endded the day our loved one passed and so it takes time to figure out how and when and where our life will start again, when an online 'realationship' starts it becomes a long term sharing and understanding and can slowly become more a freundship than two people on a journey thu pain and loss.




5) Have you ever been afraid to offer compassion to someone who is grieving, and where does this fear stem from (a fear of upsetting them or a presumption that their grieving period is over)? Is it easier to offer compassionon linee because people are openly requesting help?
if you truly care and offer compassion to someone grieving yes there is fear of 'making it worse' with the wrong words no one knows anothers deep beliefs and thoughts and a person grieving sometimes is confused about things they have always thought was what they believed.


6) Is it harder to relate to strangers when grieving online or do you manage to develop an understanding of their pain through discussion? If you are seeking compassion, do you consider those who have not experienced the death of a loved one legitimate sources of support? no, I went to a therapistt for grief counselingg I come in here for comfort and understanding.

_________________
Vernas years were not long here,
The ones that were, fill me with cheer
But they are now memories I fear
And when I vist them they are so dear
I'll never see her again thats clear
So please excuse me, when my eyes do tear
xxxxxxxxooooooooooxxxxxxxxx
My Brother I miss you so much
http://larryapohl.last-memories.com/


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