It is 5 months & 1 week since my beautiful troy committed suicide.We were together for 6 years and we had many ups and downs.I stayed with him through his troubles for as long as I possibly could.I loved him more than life itself.I had to step back from our relationship as there were aspects I thought he had to deal with for us to have a good future together.I thought I was doing the right thing.He turned 30 and his parents didn't call.They never had much of a relationship.But now they are calling me telling me I didn't love their son and that I could have stopped this.I just don't know how to go on.I loved this man so so much.And dealing with his passing is a struggle everyday.What do I do? I know what we shared, but I can't help but be hurt by this nastiness.I understand grief, and I know his parents are hurting.But ringing me to berate me for putting a memorial in the paper is just too much.I can't bottle everything in side.What do I do?

I am so sorry for your loss. I know all too well the after effects of a suicide. My brother shot himself almost 13 yrs ago and its a loss that never goes away, its a pain that is always there but does subside as time passes. My heart goes out to you.

As far as his parents are concerned, I understand they are hurting and there is probably alot of regrets on their part, guilt etc. But to blame you is pointless, this is not your fault, its nobodys fault He did what he did and now hes left behind his loved ones to deal with it. Its very hard but the next time his parents call you simply tell them. I am so very sorry for your loss, for all of our loss but please, if you are going to call me to blame me or berate me, dont and if it continues I will change my number and report you to the police for harrassment. I know its a harsh thing to say to someone whos grieving but sounds to me like they are looking to blame someone and the only person they can really truly blame is their son. He made the choice to do what he did and maybe you know why, maybe you dont know why but for whatever reason at that exact moment he felt he had to do what he did. Again I am so sorry for your loss and you will be ok, it will take time but you will be ok, if you ever want to talk, just pm me, I am pretty new to these forums but I do know how it feels to lose a loved one to suicide. Take care of yourself and remember, it will get better, it just takes time.

~Michele

Tomik died on January 19 this year. It was not a suicide, but the reason of death is not clear (heart failure). In his last couple of days he complained that it was hard to breath.
I spent with him his last 5 months, and now the whole Pennsylvania (and not only) hates me. And I didn't do anything. I am grieving.
Everybody hates me so.

I m so sorry for your loss. My grandfather committed suicide when I was 8 years old. He loved me so much and I miss him terribly. I think he was depressed from life so he done this. It was so bad time for my family. My prayers and condolences for you.

_________________
Messages for Sympathy Cards

I know how hard it is to go through what you're going through callabrina. My fiance' and I broke up on August 14th 2009, well to be fair he broke up with me. Left me for my best friend. After we had spent 3 years and 3 months together. November 16th he killed himself. I found out that night when I received an email from his sister blaming me for his death. She said that I killed him and if I had left him alone he would be alive. I never stopped loving him but I didn't talk to him very often anymore and when I did he would be so hateful and mean and call me names and yell and I would start yelling back and do the same. I was subpoenaed to testify against him in court and was suppose to testify against my ex best friend as well the last week we were together she was staying with us for a couple of days and she cashed a check that he had taken from his work. I was honest with the detective when he called me because I was so hurt by them I saw no reason to lie to him to protect people who did me so wrong even though I still loved him so much. She was sentenced to 12 months but only served 10 days. She lied for him in court so there wasn't enough to sentence him in general district court, so he had to go to circuit court which hadn't happened yet but the detective said there wasn't really evidence to get past a grand jury. But I can't help but wonder if his sister and mom are right and if me doing that really was the reason he killed himself. A big part of me blames my ex friend because I feel like if she had never stolen him from me that he would still be alive but I know I shouldn't blame anyone even as much as i hate her because I know how bad I feel being blamed. I just know that when we were together until she entered his life he was not a bad person and he was never unhappy and the last thing he would ever do was leave his daughter with out a father. I wasn't even welcome at the memorial service and didn't get to say goodbye to him. None of his family has included me in anything even though just 3 and a half months ago I was engaged to him and we spent every day for over 3 years together. They're all comforting my ex friend who's living in the house he and I picked out together with all the stuff he and I bought together, and his ex wife who has his daughter. This is the hardest thing I've ever gone through and I just want the pain to stop... I was still in tons of pain from him leaving me and now the pain is so much worse. I want to die too but I'm to chicken to do anything that works. Everything I try fails. I just want it to end.

Suicide is the worst loss anyone can accept....My daughter left me 2 years 4 months ago...

I will pray for the suicide angel.I believe in the power of prayer.O lord!Grant them peace.

_________________
lathe machine | Milling machine | drilling machine