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Lost my Son to Sucide 7-26-2010
http://forum.last-memories.com/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=3401
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Author:  Aloma Patrick [ Tue Jun 07, 2011 8:58 am ]
Post subject:  Lost my Son to Sucide 7-26-2010

My name is Aloma, I am 55 yrs old, I have 2 daughters & my baby , my only son.. Joshua Sollomen, 27yrs old, lost his battle with life to sucuide , July 26, 2010 :cry: ..I t will soon be a year but it to me seems like yesterday..not a day goes by that I don't think of his death at least once or twice aday. I maybe laughing one moment, then it hits me like a slap in the face no more memory making with my beloved son, It hurts & hurts alot! A huge piece of my heart is missing..I am broken into many pieces. I have many unanswered questions..I may never get answers to..but they are still there.
Next month will be a year & everytime I think of that anniversary I am afraid I will start crying & screaming & this time it won't stop!
At this time I am trying Very hard to remember how he lived...NOT the way he died..this a hard, hard battle! I will say I am better than I was almost a year ago..I no longer sit & cry every single moment of every single day..I may cry everyday but not every second of the day.
[u]I know I will never get over this , I may have days when I can handle it better, but Never will I forget that first moment I was told my baby boy was gone!
[u My youngest daughter for Christmas this past year bought me a journal, and I have found writting everyday in it, helps release some of the weight. My Husband, my 2 daughers, my sister, my friends , they all provide me with a great support system. I am blessed that I have them. I don't know if the day will Ever come that I don't shed a tear each day..but I will survive...for my girls ,my husband ,my family and most of all for my grandchildren!

Author:  cali_halli [ Sun Jun 12, 2011 9:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Lost my Son to Sucide 7-26-2010

Hi Aloma,
I am also new to this site. On 11 June 2009 my 27 year old daughter, Alyson Danae Halliburton, left this plane. Aly may, or may not, have orchestrated her own sunset. Perhaps I will not know, in this life; and, beyond it will not matter.

Thankfully, I have experienced none of the anger that I some parents experience. I respect my daughter--her intellect, reasoning, great heart and spirituality too much to question any decision she may have made. I cannot recall one parting, one phone call, or a single text that did not end with "May God Bless."

Yesterday was the 2nd aniversary of her leaving us. She was beautiful, vibrant, and gone. Every moment my brain is not busy--filled wih noise used to distract, the loss overwhelms--the loneliness and tears re-surface--thoughts and images of Aly are there. This anniversary is more difficult than the 1st one--as was this Easter and this Mother's Day.

Alyson was a great journal writer. Days after she left, I glanced through them. In the margin of one journal, near the binder between two pages, I found a note to me: Mama, if you look for me and cannot find me, look inside; that is where I'll be....."

I have no words to comfort you, except to say you are not alone.
faye

Author:  Aloma Patrick [ Tue Jun 28, 2011 11:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Lost my Son to Sucide 7-26-2010

Thank you for your reply . your daughter was a very smart & loving girl it seams. I wish I had the comfort of a journal or etc.. as you do, but I don't. his 1 yr annv. is comming up in July..very soon..I can feel all my emotions creeping up again. as if were yesterday. I am so sad..but I am trying to push thru..but as you said the firsts the secons all are gonna be hard. thank you letting me know I am not alone..God Bless You!, Aloma

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