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 Post subject: Lost my teenage son to suicide
PostPosted: Thu Jan 17, 2013 12:18 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2013 11:41 pm
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I lost a beautiful young son dec1,2012 to suicide..I feel like I have lost my soul, a limb, part of my heart, my life is gone. We were getting my son help for what the drs. Just called typical teenage depression. I am not a dr but I know how my son started to change in the last year and a half. His need to be in a relationship with a girl was ruling his life. He attached himself to a few very easy. Part of my son's therapy was to be relationship free for at least 3 mos until he could dig deeper to find what was causing his problems. The 3 weeks he remained out of a relationship was the happiest we had seen our son in over a year. When an ex-girlfriend came back into his life wanting him back, he dropped everything to go back with this girl. The 1st time around with this girl was very problematic for my son, as she was abusive to him, I and others had witness. He told me a lot of things most teen boys wouldn't tell their mothers. I knew he had *** with her every time they were together. As I did further research into his symptoms, I could see had a confusion in between *** and love. Also I became aware he showed some signs of bi-polar disorder. I mentioned this to his therapist when he was in a psychological hospital for a suicide attempt. He had drank a little bit of bleach, then got scared of what it may do and had someone contact me. Immediately he was taken to the e/r then transferred to the hospital. I had already set up my son to have counseling before this event happened, so I just rescheduled it for when he got out. When he got out he was happy as can be for three wks. When he got back with his ex girlfriend from the summer, he immediately spiraled out of control. She convinced him to be mean towards his family in hopes he would get emancipated..when they found out that wasn't possible she told him to do whatever it took to get sent somewhere and she would wait on him. One week into dating when he couldn't leave the house, she broke up with him. My baby took his life the next morning. He had left me and his stepdad a very touching letter on how we did the best we could for him and how much he loved both of us. Then left a letter for her, just how raged he was that she broke up with him after all the turmoil he was going through for her. I will never get the chance to tell him how much I loved him And we were taking the next step into helping him. I had found a male youth center that worked with boys like mine with problems of depression etc. I would've done anything to save my son, he was my world, and I have been falling into a deep depression since I lost him. I'm currently in counseling and the dr has prescribed me an antidepressant. I try so hard everyday to go on but it's a daily struggle for me. I miss my son so bad I physically hurt. I told him I would always be there for him no matter what. It hurts me so much that he didn't come to me again. I will never get over this, I know I eventually have to deal with it, but it's not something I cant make myself do. He has a birthday coming up on the 26th, he would've been 17.

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