Do you ever feel.................?

JANE_E · **Posted:** Sun Dec 09, 2007 1:27 am

That perhaps you're the one who's dead?

Or that the world should have ended when you lost your child..........what's happened? Why didn't it?

That this is all a huge mistake and someone will make it right?............. GOD???

That you're caught up in a nightmare and will somehow find a way to wake up?

That you can reach back in time..........almost.........and grab your child and bring it to you and today?

That you've slipped into the twilight zone........... and nothing you experience has any meaning?

That you could die if you'd just lay down and refuse to get up or to take another breath?

That you've gone totally insane with grief and nothing can ever bring you back?

jane

MissingMyMelody&Mommy · **Posted:** Sun Dec 09, 2007 4:04 am

**hugs** Jane. I feel this way A LOT. I still feel like it's all a nightmare that I will soon awake from. I always feel like the things I do don't have much meaning. I live on because of my other children andkeeping Melody's memory alive. I've been walking through the motions of 'life' for the last 10 months and I don't know if it will ever end. I'm so right there with you sweetie. I'm sending lots of love and prayers to you for gentler days.

Love you,
Crystal

Barbara · **Posted:** Sun Dec 09, 2007 7:58 am

Jane,
I think we all feel this way, I know I do everyday. I wish this was all a bad dream and I would wake up. With the holidays it all seems so much worse.
I am right her with you and for you. I feel your pain and share your tears.
I like this this little poem:

If teardrops could build a stairway
and memories a lane, I'd walk right
up to heaven and bring you home again...

[size=18]{{{{{{{{Jane}}}}}}}}}
Love,
Barbara

Cece · **Posted:** Sun Dec 09, 2007 4:40 pm

Oh yes Jane! I do feel exactly that way much of the time. What's the point of living? I know that I won't do anything "stupid" because of the people here who love me. My husband , other children, grandchildren and especially my mom. I could never, ever put her through losing a child. I also know that Laura would be mad at me for abandoning her kids. It is then I realize that I do have a purpose on this earth and I will have to endure until God calls me home.

momma to3 boys · **Joined:** Fri Aug 31, 2007 2:34 pm **Posts:** 171

Jane,i have felt every single 1 of those things and i wonder how long my body will last,my pneumonia is back,i went with my son,s yesterday to shop and had to come home,i just dont feel well

Lynda · **Posted:** Sun Dec 09, 2007 11:24 pm

Dear Jane,
Yes, Yes, and YES!!!!! I have felt all of the above and as painful as it is to know that my friends have also had these same feelings it is reassuring to know that I am not alone and that I am a normal grieving mother. (((HUGS)))
Carla, keeping you in my prayers and that you are feeling better soon.
Hugs,
Lynda

JANE_E · **Posted:** Mon Dec 10, 2007 3:31 am

Ditto Lynda,

I'm sorry that we all feel these same pains, but it is reassuring that I'm not alone in some of the things that come to my mind.

Tonight we stopped by my niece's house, they just returned from six weeks in Mexico. Her son Kenny, was found dead in his apartment in Las Vegas last February 5. He died of a heart attack.

We were talking and of course I started crying......... we were talking about what we've done with our son's clothes. I still have Scott's, she's given Kenny's away..... I told her I couldn't do that, if Scott comes back I want his things here for him. I think she was really taken aback for a minute when I said that. She's very practical, obviously I'm very emotional.............. I'm still not sure if she thought I'd lost my mind or not......but really, to me.........that's how I still feel.

If he comes home................ I want his things to be here waiting for him. I'm sorry if that sounds crazy....... it's how I feel.

She certainly didn't argue with me........and I can see the pain and stress on her face, so I know she's still trying to deal with the loss of her own son.

Love,
jane

Do you ever feel.................?

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