Barbara, first, I thank you so much for putting these questions and topics back on the board, HUGS!
Have you moved forward? I don't think "moving forward" is the way I would describe "living" after the loss of a child. I am living because I have to for my other children, my husband, and for myself, but that doesn't necessarily mean I am moving forward from the loss of my son...just adapting to the life of a grieving parent and the mother of a son who lives in heaven instead of with me physically.
Are you still in the same place you were? No I am not, THANK GOD! Directly following the accident I didn't know how to live as a mother of a son who resides with Jesus and not with me... I TRY not to look at my life as living without him, but living my life as a mother of a child LIVING in heaven.
What are some ways you've helped your self live again? Knowing and understanding that my son is still alive...in fact, he is more alive now than he was when he was here with me. When he came face to face with Jesus, there was no going back, even if given the choice. I know I wouldn't want to come back here, especially while in pain, which would have been Garion's only option after such an accident. But that doesn't mean that not having him physically here with me isn't hard and extremely painful most of the time. Right now I am in a place and have surrounded myself with people who are and have always been special to not only me but also to Garion. I have surrounded my other children with happy memories of Garion and hopefullly with happy memories of their own childhhood outside of that dreadful day. I tell people that I am a work in progress, and always will be. At least I know that when I do fall to my knees God, my family, and my friends still love me.
Hugs, Lynda
_________________ Some only dream of Angels. I held one in my arms.
Garion, I love you!
Mommy
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