Hello. It's been months since I've posted here, even since I've read posts here, really. It seems like I've just been paralyzed and hiding away in a dark hole. I'm trying to crawl out of it, at least for now. I did post a long while back in the one at the top about re-introducing ourselves.
So....... Now I begin the third year without my beloved son. I am clueless. I'm past the numb, auto pilot stage. Past the terrible (and worse for different reasons than the first year) second year. Am I supposed to be getting to some kind of "moving on," or acceptance? That idea feels wrong. I just fight against this reality. It feels wrong to imagine some kind of life with the kind of thinking, "Yes, my son died..." Like that's some how supposed to fit into the grand scheme of the rest of my life, as if I lost an arm and learned how to live without it and have a full life. Don't know if I'm making any sense at all. Lots of new, unsettling thoughts going through my mind. Just when I thought I was figuring parts of this out, I have to turn down another road into this third year.
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Jake's mom
The price of love is grief.
http://jake-dreier.memory-of.com
Thanks for visiting his site. It means so much to us!