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Be Honest with your Grieving children..... http://forum.last-memories.com/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=1277 |
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Author: | Barbara [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 9:01 am ] |
Post subject: | Be Honest with your Grieving children..... |
Good Morning! I wanted share this from Season Of Grief. They are so right we should be honest with our children about death. Love ,hugs and prayers, Barbara Be Honest with Your Grieving Children Day 184 You may wonder how much to say to your children about the loss of their sibling, parent, relative, or friend. Of course, you have to gauge it to their ages and attention spans, but with this in mind, we encourage you to be honest and open with your children. "As parents you want to protect them; you want to make it right for them, and yet you don't know that what you're doing is actually not hurting them," says Dora. "When we first got back from the hospital after their sister died, we were at a loss for words, and we probably did all the wrong things. They wanted to know how she died, and my husband said, 'Well, she fell asleep; it's just like falling asleep, only she just didn't wake up. It was very comfortable.' Neither one of my girls could sleep after that for months because they were afraid they were going to die. Their comprehension is so limited at that age." God understands that you do not know what to say. He will enable you. Be truthful, yet compassionate with your children, and pray continually for His guidance. Encourage the children to ask you questions, and keep the lines of communication open at all times. Also, seek help from experienced parents or a counselor for advice on how to explain such things to children. "Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God" (2 Corinthians 3:5). Holy God, open my mouth to honestly talk and share with my children. Help me to be available and approachable to them. Amen. |
Author: | Cindy [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 9:49 am ] |
Post subject: | |
This is good Barbara and so true. If we don't do our best to explain to our children they come up with all kinds of explanations in their little heads. Johnathan was only 2 when we lost B.J. and we explained it the best we could. But then when he was 4 1/2 we noticed him having all kinds of trouble that sent up red flags so we got him into counseling. The poor little guy was trying all that time later to figure out what happened to his Bubba and was blaming himself for his Bubba dieing. Thank God we saw the signs and got him the help he needed. The reason I tell you this is because sometimes it doesn't start affecting our kids really bad until some time has passed. We just need to be on the watch for it if it's delayed and help them when they need the help. Hugs, Cindy |
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