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 Post subject: Be Honest with your Grieving children.....
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 9:01 am 
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Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 10:23 pm
Posts: 480
Location: Oklahoma
Good Morning! I wanted share this from Season Of Grief. They are so right we should be honest with our children about death.

Love ,hugs and prayers,
Barbara

Be Honest with Your Grieving Children
Day 184

You may wonder how much to say to your children about the loss of their sibling,
parent, relative, or friend. Of course, you have to gauge it to their ages and
attention spans, but with this in mind, we encourage you to be honest and open
with your children.

"As parents you want to protect them; you want to make it right for them, and
yet you don't know that what you're doing is actually not hurting them," says
Dora. "When we first got back from the hospital after their sister died, we were
at a loss for words, and we probably did all the wrong things. They wanted to
know how she died, and my husband said, 'Well, she fell asleep; it's just like
falling asleep, only she just didn't wake up. It was very comfortable.' Neither
one of my girls could sleep after that for months because they were afraid they
were going to die. Their comprehension is so limited at that age."

God understands that you do not know what to say. He will enable you. Be
truthful, yet compassionate with your children, and pray continually for His
guidance. Encourage the children to ask you questions, and keep the lines of
communication open at all times. Also, seek help from experienced parents or a
counselor for advice on how to explain such things to children.

"Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our
competence comes from God" (2 Corinthians 3:5).

Holy God, open my mouth to honestly talk and share with my children. Help me to
be available and approachable to them. Amen.

_________________
Those we love remain with us, for love itself lives on.

Image

http://www.michael-butler.last-memories.com


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 9:49 am 
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Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2007 12:57 pm
Posts: 578
Location: Texas
This is good Barbara and so true. If we don't do our best to explain to our children they come up with all kinds of explanations in their little heads. Johnathan was only 2 when we lost B.J. and we explained it the best we could. But then when he was 4 1/2 we noticed him having all kinds of trouble that sent up red flags so we got him into counseling. The poor little guy was trying all that time later to figure out what happened to his Bubba and was blaming himself for his Bubba dieing. :( Thank God we saw the signs and got him the help he needed. The reason I tell you this is because sometimes it doesn't start affecting our kids really bad until some time has passed. We just need to be on the watch for it if it's delayed and help them when they need the help.
Hugs, Cindy

_________________
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B.J. you will always be my best Buddy in the Whole World. B.J., Wayne and Buck...forever loved and missed and never forgotten.
http://bobby-outlawii.last-memories.com
http://bjoutlawii.memory-of.com


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