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 Post subject: hurting
PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 3:47 pm 
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Joined: Fri Aug 31, 2007 2:34 pm
Posts: 171
today,im hurting so much.i keep hearing chris say my name when the car was on him.his last words was my name.it tears my heart up so much that i faile him,and didnt get him out of that .i am so sad because he counted on me his whole life and i was there,and this happens in our home we are suppose to be safe.and we werent.i miss him so much.his voice was so weak,i cant believe i have to live without him.he was so happy,and wanted so much to live.im sorry today it seems its getting harder .

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 6:39 pm 
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Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2007 12:57 pm
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Location: Texas
Carla,
I'm so sorry. I wish I could come there and just hold you while you cry. My heart just breaks for you. You didn't fail Chris and even if you think you did he is in Heaven now and he knows the truth. He knows how much you love him and he knows how much you wanted to help him. He also knows it was not in your power to stop that car or to lift it from him. Just the fact that you were there to love him and take care of him his whole life makes me know without a doubt he knows how much he is loved.
I have many times blamed myself or condemed myself over things about B.J. I've remembered times that I would get on to him and sometimes do it all wrong and then the enemy comes to me in my grief and works overtime to tear me down. But then I remember...there is not sadness in Heaven so even if I did do wrong sometimes B.J. doesn't remember because if he remembered he might be sad and that would make the Lords word not the truth and I know it is truth. So all I can figure is Chris is up there arguing with my boys over who has the best Mom!!!!!!!!!!!! :P
I'm sending hugs to you and I'm going to pray extra for you.
Love, Cindy

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B.J. you will always be my best Buddy in the Whole World. B.J., Wayne and Buck...forever loved and missed and never forgotten.
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 7:50 pm 
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Joined: Fri Aug 31, 2007 2:34 pm
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Cindy,you do not know how your words have touched me,thank you.when its raining outside it seems worse to me.

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 8:15 pm 
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Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 11:35 am
Posts: 82
Location: Florida
"I feel a strong immortal hope,
which bears my mournful spirit up
beneath its mountain load;
redeemed from death, and grief, and pain,
I soon shall find my child again
within the arms of God."

- Charles Wesley

Some words of hope for the broken hearted.

Love and hugs to you all,
Susan

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http://clinton-milam.last-memories.com/

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 10:02 pm 
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Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 10:23 pm
Posts: 480
Location: Oklahoma
I wish I could do something to ease your pain, just know that Chris is happy in Heaven,
Lots of Love and Hugs
Barbara

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 10:19 pm 
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Joined: Fri Aug 31, 2007 11:23 am
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Location: Pennsylvania
The question is alays there...is there more that we could've done, did we love them enough while they were here, etc. You did not fail him; in any way, shape or form. I pray that God is with you during this difficult time. We are all here for you if you need anything.

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Tonya ~ Mommy to Nadia Rose, Baby Cooper and precious Angels Jaydon and Jordan

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 11:08 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 23, 2007 10:23 am
Posts: 483
Location: North Carolina
Dear Carla,
I have been busy most of the day and something (or someone) told me to come and check in on the forums before I went to bed. I am happy I did, because I will be saying an extra special prayer for you tonight my friend. There is so much pain in the life of a grieving mother and I can feel the pain in every word you wrote.
Keep writing it out hun, that is one of the best things we can do.
Hugs,
Lynda

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Garion, I love you!
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 11:20 pm 
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Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2007 12:57 pm
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Location: Texas
Carla,
I'm sorry it's worse for you when it's raining. I would like to share my memory with you so maybe the rain won't be so bad for you. I like it when it rains because of B.J. having me to sing the song "Melodies From Heaven Rain Down On Me". So when it rains I remember that and I think...B.J.'s raining melodies down on me so I run outside and get some on me. I would be honored for you to share my memory with me and hope it will help you in some small way.
I stood in for prayer for you at Church tonight. I'm believing the Lord is going to continue to give you the strength you need and give you the peace your heart needs too.
Sending you a hug, Cindy

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B.J. you will always be my best Buddy in the Whole World. B.J., Wayne and Buck...forever loved and missed and never forgotten.
http://bobby-outlawii.last-memories.com
http://bjoutlawii.memory-of.com


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