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 Post subject: I'M SO LOST AND EMPTY. SHE WAS MY WORLD
PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 2:16 am 
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THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, PAIGE COURTNEY WAS TAKEN AWAY FROM ME SO SUDDENLY. SHE WAS KILLED BY A STRAY BULLET AS SHE SLEPT IN OUR HOME. PAIGE WAS ONLY 7 YRS OLD. IT STILL CUTS LIKE A KNIFE 2 MY HEART AND SOUL 2 BE WITHOUT HER. PAIGE WAS THE BEST CHILD IN THIS WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD. SHE IS WHAT KEPT ME GOING DAILY. SHE WAS TAKEN AWAY FROM ME ON NOV.8th 2009. I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD EVER BE HERE. I'M STRUGGLING WITH THE FACT THAT SHE WAS MY ONE AND ONLY CHILD N THIS WORLD. WHY WOULD SOMEONE WANNA TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME? WE WERE NOT BAD PEOPLE @ ALL. SHE WAS AN HONOR ROLL STUDENT AND VERY HELPFUL 2 ME IN ALL ASPECTS. I WILL MISS HER HONEY HAM AND CHEESE SANDWICHES THAT SHE WOULD PREPARE FOR ME WHEN I HAD ROUGH DAYS @ WORK,(WHICH WAS VERY OFTEN). WE WOULD SPEND ALL OUR TIME TOGETHER. ONE OF THE THINGS WE DID ON THE REGULAR WAS PLAY HER Wii. I HAVE NOT PLAYED IT SINCE THE NIGHT BEFORE THIS TRAGEDY HAPPENED. IT DOESN'T FEEL THE SAME 2 PLAY IT WITHOUT HER. I HAVE UNHOOKED IT FROM THE T.V. BECAUSE IT IS NOT FUN TO DO WITHOUT HER. I'VE DECIDED 2 SHARE MY STORY WITH EVERYONE BECAUSE I SEE NOW THAT I AM NOT ALONE. I AM NOT THE ONLY PARENT DEALING WITH THE LOSS OF A CHILD. I JUST WONDER WILL THIS EVER GET BETTER? IT FEELS LIKE IF I DO A NORMAL ACTIVITY I AM MOVING ON WITHOUT PAIGE, AND THAT IS THE HARD PART. IT WILL SOON BE A MONTH THAT MY BABY GIRL WAS STRIPPED FROM ME. IT SO FEELS LIKE YESTERDAY. THIS HEARTACHE WILL NEVER GO AWAY. IT FEELS LIKE A SCAB IS COVERING MY HEART AND EVERYTIME I THINK OF PAIGE A LITTLE PIECE COMES OFF AND I START 2 BLEED NON STOP. I FEEL LIKE PAIGE AND GOD R THE ONLY 2 THAT CAN HEAL THIS BROKEN HEART. I JUST CAN'T WAIT FOR THE DAY WHEN I WILL SEE MY BEAUTIFUL PAIGE COURTNEY ONCE MORE AND WE SHALL BE 2GETHER FOREVER AND NO ONE CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM US EVER AGAIN.



MOMMY LOVES YOU PAIGE, ALWAYS HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL.


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 Post subject: Re: I'M SO LOST AND EMPTY. SHE WAS MY WORLD
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 2:41 am 
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Joined: Fri Nov 27, 2009 1:05 pm
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I just wanted to offer my condolences to know and let you know that you are not alone. I wish you peace.


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 Post subject: Re: I'M SO LOST AND EMPTY. SHE WAS MY WORLD
PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2009 7:10 pm 
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Joined: Thu Dec 10, 2009 6:53 pm
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My heart goes out to you. The pain is awful...I know! I also lost my one and only daughter 2yrs ago on Dec 6th. It seems the pain gets worse with holidays and I am still unable to celebrate any because like you I feel like Im moving on without my daughter. That I am not ready to do. I have found that the pain does not ever go away, but you learn how to live with it day after day. Just know that you are not alone and I send my love to you and your angel. God bless and take care.

www.kalynne-flores.last-memories.com


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 Post subject: Re: I'M SO LOST AND EMPTY. SHE WAS MY WORLD
PostPosted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 11:55 am 
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Joined: Thu Dec 10, 2009 6:36 pm
Posts: 2
Christmas time is hard for us parents dealing with the loss of our children. I wish all the mom's out there, and their families, peace duing the holiday season. It doesn't make it any easier knowing they are in heaven with Him and at peace...we want them with us, don't we...But He has other plans for our children. I miss Tara so much it hurts! Love to all.

Angie
Mom to Angel Tara
http://tara-michelle-rose.last-memories.com/


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 Post subject: Re: I'M SO LOST AND EMPTY. SHE WAS MY WORLD
PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 5:29 pm 
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Joined: Fri Dec 18, 2009 5:12 pm
Posts: 7
I know the pain all to well that you are describing. I lost my son on April 14, 2006 it was Good Friday, Easter had always been my favorite holiday, I loved Spring coming in and buying new clothes for Easter Sunday service. To lose my son Nicholas was devastating; I had just told him that when we got home we were going to color Easter eggs. Time seems to have stood still for so long; this is the first Christmas that I have decorated a Christmas tree since he passed. I have two other children so they give me reason to keep going but even then, it has been incredibly difficult. I cannot imagine not having any distractions and losing my only child. Please go to counseling, and get on medication if need be. It took me over two years to realize my grief had turned in to depression and that I needed help not only for myself but for my family as well, my two other children, which are now six, and 10 yrs. old needed there Mother. It is very difficult to move forward, I still feel guilt when I realize I am happy about something but then I think Nick would not want me to be unhappy and crying all the time so I try to push it to the side and keep going. In addition, I want to tell you that you are still in the beginning stages of grief, your daughter has only been gone a little over a month and that is not long at all. My personal hard grief did not hit me for 6 months after my son passed away. If anyone tells you to get over it, do not associate with that person, you have to grieve but eventually you will have to start your new life without your daughter and that is ok to do but first grieve give yourself time. I read once that when you lose a parent you lose your past when you lose a spouse, you lose your present but when you lose a child, you lose your future this is so true. Parents that have lost a child/children know too well the pain that each of us feels. Yet I cannot say I know how you feel because the circumstances of my son’s death are different from that of your daughters. I can tell you life will go on and you will find peace again but it takes time so do not rush yourself. I wish you happiness and peace in the future and that you will find the strength to continue with your life and know that your daughter is proud of you for doing so. Please feel free to email me if you have a desire to talk more, I only hope to encourage you through this difficult process. I have a facebook account under missy parks or melissa parks silinsky I live in Ludowici, Georgia or personal email msilinsky@long.k12.ga.us

Melissia Silinsky


Last edited by msilinsky on Fri Dec 18, 2009 6:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: I'M SO LOST AND EMPTY. SHE WAS MY WORLD
PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 5:45 pm 
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Joined: Thu Dec 10, 2009 6:36 pm
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Hello Melissa. I did try to look you up on facebook, and could not find you. Mine is under Angie Rose, Houston Tx.
I lost my youngest daughter, Tara, and I am now raising her son...he will be 3 in January. I do have an older daughter, Teddi. She is in WV now, that is where they lived, and hopefully, she will be here towards the end of January. That is the ONLY thing that will get me through this with Tara Michelle is to FEEL my other daughter. My God, I never thought there was pain and dispare as I have; there is nothing at all I can do to see my baby (she will always be my baby) again...nothing. I hate that so much.

Thank you for your kind words. I do appreciate your post. I am also with an online Mothers Grieving Group. That helps too. As bad as this sounds, I am glad to know others that have gone through this type of loss and are still living and smiling...might not be that often, but they do.

My email is arose@lonestar.edu if you would like to talk more...

Please take care of yourself, and you too, take some time to grieve...I am sorry you lost your precious son. I will pray for you Melissa...

Fondly,
Angie Rose
Mom of angel Tara Michelle Rose
http://tara-michelle-rose.last-memories.com/


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 Post subject: Re: I'M SO LOST AND EMPTY. SHE WAS MY WORLD
PostPosted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 5:18 am 
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Joined: Sun Feb 28, 2010 4:54 am
Posts: 4
I sit here in tears as I read all of the mothers storys..I lost my only son 13 days before christmas.He was 25 and in march would have been 26..nothing is the same I ask God why did,nt you take me and let my baby live...I miss him so much I have nobody my own mother does not understand..somedays I dont want to live I dont know how to live without him..his smile his beautiful eyes.I have never felt such pain...
I,m so sorry my prayers are with you...


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