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 Post subject: I'm ready to introduce you to my Melody & Mommy
PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 10:32 pm 
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Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2007 9:22 pm
Posts: 166
Location: TN
I'm Crystal, my fiance (Melody's daddy) is Sonny. We have 4 other children between us. Jake, his 7 year old son from a previous marriage, Jarred & Landon (almost 12 & 4) my boys from a previous marriage and Alanna (pronounced Uh-la-nuh) my 1 year old from when Sonny and I split up last year (long story and if u really wanna know, just ask and you can read about it in my blog on myspace) I will start with my mom. She was my best friend. She found out at the end of Sept. 2004 (she was 47 at the time) that she had cervical cancer. She was bleeding to the point of having to be hospitalized and had a blood transfusion. I was devastated. She started chemo (the kind that doesn't make you lose your hair) and things were looking good. At the end of that course of chemo instead of doing a hysterectomy that was planned since the tumor had shrunk considerably the radiologist (damn him) wanted to do implants to try to get rid of the tumor completely. Well my mom agreed. During her chemo time she was sometimes tired and lost some weight but was mostly the mom I had always known. She still took all her kids & grandkids out every Friday night for pizza or McDonalds. Once they started the implants she was never the same. She was in pain all the time and the last one they did was around her 48th birthday (June 30th 2005), if I remember correctly. She was seeing pain consultants because she was in so much pain. It was terrible. Melody was her first grand daughter (after a total of 6 grandsons) and she got to see her in the NICU before I ever got to see her even though she was in a lot of pain she still came to the hospital. (Melody was 6 weeks early, I had her in the ambulance in the parking lot of the hospital without pain meds and it was FUN! LOL I wouldn't change it for anything, though) So Melody was born July 23rd 2005. Mom loved her but she couldn't hardly hold her or anything because she was in so much pain. I called the nurses at the Cancer Center and was told that the cancer had spread to mom's spine and they needed her to come in. My aunt (who was right next door) couldn't get her to go so I drove the hour and 15 minutes to make her get in the car with me and go. I didn't tell her they would admit her, I knew she wouldn't go and we'd have to force her and I didn't want that. So with tears in my eyes I begged her to please let me take her to the hospital. She never asked if she would be admitted until we were almost at the hospital and I wouldn't lie to her so I told her they said she probably would. She was in the hospital for the weekend. She and my daddy decided they didn't want her going thru any more pain. No radiation, no chemo. So mom was sent home with a hospital bed, morphine drip in her stomach that we had to push ever 30 minutes and nurses that would come visit. She did well for a few weeks. We took Melody to see her just before Thanksgiving and I finally got pics of them together (the only ones I would ever have it turns out). She made it thru Thanksgiving but on November 30th I got a phone call from my cousin saying that mom was in bad shape and I needed to come. So I grabbed my video and digital cameras, arranged for other ppl to watch the kids and took off to my hometown. She knew who I was. She could barely talk, it was more a whisper. She tried to write but got frustrated at the pen. It was terrible. Everyone came around at some point or another that day. I made plans to stay there that night because I knew the end was very near. Mom passed away at noon the next day (December 1, 2005) at 48 years old. I was asleep in her and my daddy's bed when my aunt came, woke me up and told me she was gone. I went to her, she was in no more pain, I laid on top of her and cried and talked to her and eventually fell asleep and they left me there with her for several hours. Everyone (even my brothers) said leave her alone (some of the extended family thought it was inappropriate or something, I dunno) but when the nurses thought I need to be get up cuz the hearse was almost there they woke me gently and explained that they would be taking mom away soon. I thought I would never feel such awful pain ever in my life...then there came February 9, 2007. For this story I am going to link to my blog on myspace so I don't have to relive and retype it all over again, I hope you don't mind.

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fusea ... =235963858

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Melody's Websites
http://melodystarralexander.last-memories.com
http://melodystarralexander.tripod.com/
http://www.funeralplan2.com/farrarfuner ... e?id=88962


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 Post subject: I'm so sorry.
PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 10:56 pm 
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Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 4:24 pm
Posts: 350
Location: Portland,Oregon
Crystal,
Oh my! I read your post and then your my space page. I am so sorry for your losses. Life is NOT fair. Your mom was way too young to die. Losing a mother is especially hard. And then to lose your baby in an accident, how awful! Try to remember that her grandma was there for her when Melody went to heaven. She is not alone. there is someone there who loves her and will care for her. Hold her when she needs it and kiss her when she needs a kiss. I hope they visit you in your sleep. My prayers are with you.
Cece

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Lucy Carter

http://laura-dawn.last-memories.com

In loving memory of, Laura Dawn 2/26/68-7/19/07, my first born child, my daughter, my friend.
And
In loving memory of, Myron H. (Ozzie) Osborne 8/22/22-3/29/89, My dad, my teacher, my hero.
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Megan, Heather, Andrew,( Laura ), Mary, Jim, Russell


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 11:37 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 23, 2007 10:23 am
Posts: 483
Location: North Carolina
Dear Crystal,
I am so so so sorry hun. It was emotionally hard for me to read through your story on here and on your myspace, but I did. Reliving those moments through your words took my breath away. I felt your pain like I remember mine. Know that we are here for you to come and talk to at any time about any thing. (((HUGS))) I can only imagine how much your Mama is spoiling her grand baby girl in heaven, looking forward to the day they get to show you around. Melody is so precious!!!
Hugs,
Lynda

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Some only dream of Angels. I held one in my arms.
Garion, I love you!
Mommy
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 11:41 pm 
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Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2007 12:57 pm
Posts: 578
Location: Texas
Crystal,
I am so sorry. I just read about your Mom and sweet baby girl Melody. Your Mom went to Heaven on the same day as my son B.J. only 2 years later. I'm so sorry for the losses you have suffered.
I have to tell you that I couldn't finish reading the story about your baby girl. I will one day but I just can't right now. I read enough to know what happened but I had to stop. My mind and heart can't go there right now as it brings back too much of my son's story. Please don't think I don't care, I do...I'm so sorry.
I understand why you had to link to your blog. I didn't even write the story about my son B.J. until about 2 months ago and he's been in Heaven since Dec. 1, 2003. I wrote the story of my twin sons Wayne and Buck about the same time and they have been in Heaven since Jan. 26, 1986. It still rips at my heart even now.
Please know I will keep you and your family in my prayers. It's still so fresh and raw for you and I'm sorry.
Love and prayers, Cindy

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B.J. you will always be my best Buddy in the Whole World. B.J., Wayne and Buck...forever loved and missed and never forgotten.
http://bobby-outlawii.last-memories.com
http://bjoutlawii.memory-of.com


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 3:56 am 
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Joined: Sat Aug 25, 2007 12:46 pm
Posts: 254
Location: Washington State, USA
Dear Crystal,
I'm so sorry, there are those inadequate words again.......... they really don't express the pain I felt reading about your beloved baby. It was almost more than I could finish. I sometimes wonder at the amount of pain we carry in our hearts. We all have a burden to carry that is really not bearable, and yet we get up each morning and face the new day, as best we can. We must go on, even though our hearts are broken.

I'm so very, very sorry. Your loss, your pain is overwhelming. Losing a child is unbearable and coming right on the heels of your mother's death. It's too much for a person to endure.

I would pray for words to comfort you but words just don't contain magic. It will take the grace of God to comfort your heart. May he grant you peace and comfort as you struggle to deal with all this.

Love, hugs, prayers,
Jane

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Scott Matthew HIll - 2 years old
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To lose a child teaches one what the word bereavement really means. There is no loss equal to the loss of a child.

“We are each of us angels with only one wing. And we can only fly embracing each other."
~Luciano De Crescenzo

www.scottmatthew-hill.last-memories.com


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 6:51 am 
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Joined: Tue Sep 04, 2007 6:16 am
Posts: 3
Crystal I am so sorry my heart goes out to you precious. you are in my prayers. Dessa Joseph's mom


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 8:33 am 
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Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 11:35 am
Posts: 82
Location: Florida
Crystal,

I'm so very sorry for all the pain you have had to go through. Sending you lots of love and hugs.

Love,
Susan

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CLINT~Just another child to you but the whole world to me...
http://clinton-milam.last-memories.com/

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 10:47 am 
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Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 1:21 pm
Posts: 180
Location: Kansas
Crystal, I have read your myspace blog and it saddened me so very much. I am deeply sorry for the loss of your precious baby girl and your wonderful mommy.

Glad you felt the courage to come and share your stories with us. God Bless

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Tanya~Mommy to Karson Dean 2yo and Angel Naudya Jo May 1-16, 2007
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http://naudya-jo.memory-of.com


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 5:48 pm 
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Joined: Fri Aug 31, 2007 11:23 am
Posts: 330
Location: Pennsylvania
Crystal....
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Know that we are all here for you anytime you need us. God Bless You.

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Tonya ~ Mommy to Nadia Rose, Baby Cooper and precious Angels Jaydon and Jordan

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