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 Post subject: Has anyone else lost a child to murder?
PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:02 pm 
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I would like to talk to other Mom's who have lost their children to murder. There are so few people that can understand what this is like. So much trauma and violence and pure evil.


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 Post subject: Re: Has anyone else lost a child to murder?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 04, 2010 12:24 am 
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My baby sister was brutally murdered, sometime during the winter of 1988. My little sister was more like my little girl. I used to get her ready for school. I remember parting her lovely brown hair and making two pig tails. Each pig tail contained three big "banana" curls. Millie would play with her baby doll the whole time. I pressed her dresses. Her favorite dress had puffy sleeves and was orange and yellow - so cheerful. That's one of the memories I cherish. Millie once said that her most favorite smell in the world was puppy breath. Millie loved animals and dreamed of taking care of animals. Millie was only 29 when someone randomly decided to take her life, leaving her body in the cold winter woods in Connecticut. To date, her murderer remains unknown. Millie had four children: LaTanya, Bobby, Ronnie and Christopher. All of her babies were my babies. I loved my Millie. My little girl. My little brother recently died, unexpectedly, less than four weeks ago. That's what led me to searching the web, looking for comfort. Then I found this site. My brother Oscar and my sister Millie were not only my siblings, but they were also my "children" -- I took care of them because my mother was too ill. Oscar and Millie always regarded me as a mother than a sister. I realize that some people may not realize the extent of this type of love. After my sister Millie's death, I would drive out to some secluded spot where I would sit in my car and just scream out in pain. I remember stuffing my mouth with my closed fist to contain the grief that would suddenly overwhelm me - I would be driving, a song would play. I would temporarily lose my mind. I would go through stop signs and red lights. All I know is that I wanted my baby sister back. And if I couldn't get her back, then I wanted to be with her, keep her warm, keep her safe, tell her that I would stay with her forever. But I had her baby to take care of. Yes, she left behind a one-year old baby boy. Christopher. My sunshine boy. The one who taught me to love all over again. Next week he will be getting married. Millie, I never stop thinking of my sister Millie. I miss her and love her. Always.


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 Post subject: Re: Has anyone else lost a child to murder?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 04, 2010 5:57 pm 
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Hi Magda, I hope that is your name. Thank you for replying to my post and for telling me about your little sister and your brother. You have suffered a lot of loss. Keara was murdered by her boyfriend, someone who she loved and trusted. The murder was brutal and I continue to have nightmares. Keara left two children, Justin and Victoria. They now live with their biological Dad. I see them some but not as often as I would like. I have three other children who all live out of state so this has been a lonely journey for me. I belong to another group which is called Mothers of Murdered Sons/Daughters where I have found a lot of support. Do you have a website for your siblings? Keara's is www.kearahart.com. I hope we can talk some more.


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 Post subject: Re: Has anyone else lost a child to murder?
PostPosted: Fri Mar 12, 2010 1:43 am 
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Dear Darien
As I read your story my heart goes out to you, and your family. I lost my only son, only at the age 25, he was set up by friends he thought of as BROTHER'S. One day he was here, the next gone forever. And still 3 years later I'm fighting to have his killer found, and put away. Someone had been trying to run my son off the road from tues, through sunday, then Monday he was ran off the road, went through a guardrail, the driver of the truck drove up to my son's car, tossed his head back in laughter, then DROVE AWAY. Witness gave statements after statements still I stand and stare out a window wishing that hellish nightmare had only been a bad DREAM, and he'll pull into the driveway. However I know deep down I'll never see my loving "Ronnie" my "Punkin" for 25 years again. He lived 18 hours, before the doctor's asked me to make a choice to not do CPR on him again, because the air-bag in the Mustang broke every bone from his waist up. I can tell you this that day my life changed FOREVER, I'm not the lady, woman, I use to be, and I'll never be. TIME DOES NOT HEAL THY PAIN. whoever said those words first had never lost a child. We gave up my dad, both my husband's parents, a nephew we raised, 9 months before our son was killed. and I tell EVERYONE, that's a TRUE LOVING MOTHER. The pain of losing a child is the worse pain a TRUE parent must go through. I get through each day watching his 3 children GROW their mom left him and the 4 children when the baby was only 3 days old. We haven't seen the little girl that didn't belong to him, but he raised from 2 months to 7 years before he was killed. but once since he passed away. Our heart not only aches for our child but a granddaughter as well. May God give US all whatever it is we need to get through this horrible ACT upon our child. Pray they'll put their killer's AWAY where they belong before tomorrow and they take another mother's CHILD!


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 Post subject: Re: Has anyone else lost a child to murder?
PostPosted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 3:49 am 
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I lost my son (jamieblair) to a bully that live down the street from us . this bully mad my 13yr.old son and my 14yr.old nephew get in the car with him and then he told them that he was going to wreck the car and my son cried and begged him to let them out and he thought it was funny and he ran them into a tree head on and it spin into another tree killing my son. and injuring my nephew , but the bully got out with no injurys. and is pending a court case.. but nothing will take the pain away . and i understand about needing to just go somewhere and just scream, i feel like i'm scream on the inside all the time , but sometimes it has to come out and i feel like i'm lossing my mind alot. i also have a 17yr. old son (chris) that is having a hard time with lossing his brother . we lost Jamie on July 28, 2008 . and it has not got easier to deal with and how can it i don't have my jamie anymore .. i feel like my life is falling apart and i can't stop it. all i can do is watch it go by with out me taking part in it.please check out my son's page and see what an angle he is. http://jamie-blair.last-memories.com/index.php


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 Post subject: Re: Has anyone else lost a child to murder?
PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 6:52 pm 
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Hi, Darien my name is Chavante, and I to lost a chid to murder. My son Gregory Smith 16, was robbed and killed after performing in a school talent show. As a parent who lost a child I know that there is no greater loss that of a child. Our hearts do not beat the same. As parents, espically mothers we have a special bond with our children we love them before we know them. We love them more than we love ourselvse. I am so outraged everytime I see in the news that another child has lost their life sensly due to violence. I know your heart is broken, and I will pray for you, I pray for all who have lost a child. Sadly I know that we are not the first and sorry to say we wont be the last. I know are children are special. I am truly sorry that we have to live our lifes without them. I wish that I had so magic words to tell you or a magic potion to make all of the pain go away but I don't. The only thing that I can say is to please find comfort in the joy that your child brung you. keep the memories and times shared close to your heart! I send my love to you. I know that we all have suffered a loss. I will be praying for you and your family. May GOD give you all comfort and strenghth in the days, and years to come. Remeber your child for they way she lived and the joy she brung.


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 Post subject: Re: Has anyone else lost a child to murder?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 12:28 pm 
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Thanks to everyone who posted a reply. The things all of you have said are also the things that I feel every day. Keara was my only child that lived close by and I talked to her every day. My life has also changed drastically. Five weeks after Keara was murdered I had to have back surgery. I had no insurance since I also lost my job. I had been the director of a shelter for battered women and also worked with the batterers. The powers that be decided that I could no longer do that work since Keara was murdered by her boyfriend so they let me go. I am now on disability and work part time and can barely pay my bills. I have lost many friends I guess because they don't know what to say to me and I am definitely not the same person I was and Know that I will never be. Would anyone like to talk by phone? I have unlimited long distance so I could call you. My email is darienrussell@embarqmail.com. Keara's website is www.kearahart.com


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 Post subject: Re: Has anyone else lost a child to murder?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 1:40 am 
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Joined: Thu Dec 02, 2010 1:29 am
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This last year has been hard for me too.

First, my dog Alex died. He had slept at my feet for so long I can't remember when it started.

Then, two months later, my son, Rick, was murdered on November 15, 2009.

Six months later, my mother in law (who I loved) died.

Six weeks later, sometime mid summer, Alex's sister died.

Then my mother went into the hospital shortly thereafter, and she died on 10/20/10.

I sometimes feel so numb inside I don't know if I can remember how to breathe.


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 Post subject: Re: Has anyone else lost a child to murder?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 08, 2011 2:11 pm 
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I just lost my daughter, Rhonda, on March 7, 2011, so the wounds are still very much fresh. She was found dead in a bathtub while her boyfriend was in the home, and her death is still under investigation by homicide detectives. Losing a child is always a difficult thing to endure, but the agony of not knowing what happened worsens the blow. I also employ this fear that the truth will never be known. The guy is a PA with an extensive medical background, and I fear this all being swept under the rug and the cause of death coming back as 'undetermined'.
The BF was obsessive from the beginning, and required her to leave everything from her "previous life" behind. He separated her from her friends and none of the family even met him until after the tragedy (although they had lived together for a year). There is a long line of lies and deceit that we cannot ignore, and I know (in my heart) that he did something to her. My daughter was two weeks shy of her 42nd. birthday. We had just celebrated her six year old daughter's birthday two weeks prior and 'celebrated' another daughter's 23rd. birthday only three days after she passed, and then my own only four days after Rhonda's. The void that encased our hearts on what should been joyous occasions, is beyond anything I could ever describe.
As a family, we continue to give support to one another and (somehow) we get through the hard days. As a mother, I am being torn apart by the sadness, the anger and the unanswered questions.
http://rhonda-mcclain.last-memories.com/


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 Post subject: Re: Has anyone else lost a child to murder?
PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2011 5:24 pm 
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My Daughter was also murdered by the man who "loved" (possessed) her. Contact me if you want to talk. ellerbcj@skybest.com


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 Post subject: Re: Has anyone else lost a child to murder?
PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 3:33 am 
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My son, Chris, was killed 9/23/09 by his father (Todd) who was high and driving 120 mph recklessly. Had himself seatbelted in but not my son. Flipped the car 4 times killing my son instantly. He walked away with a hand injury and spent only 16 months in jail. My Christopher was 13 yrs old. His dad doesn't even think he did anything wrong. It hurts so bad every single day, but just like everyone else I paste on a smile and pretend I'm fine. But I'm not!


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 Post subject: Re: Has anyone else lost a child to murder?
PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2012 5:31 am 
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Thanks for the nice post...

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 Post subject: Re: Has anyone else lost a child to murder?
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 1:59 am 
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Dear We gave up my dad, both my husband's parents, a nephew we raised, 9 months before our son was killed. and I tell EVERYONE, that's a TRUE LOVING MOTHER. The pain of losing a child is the worse pain a TRUE parent must go through. I get through each day watching his 3 children GROW their mom left him and the 4 children when the baby was only 3 days old. We haven't seen the little girl that didn't belong to him, but he raised from 2 months to 7 years before he was killed. but once since he passed away. Our heart not only aches for our child but a granddaughter as well.

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