Angel4 wrote:
im sorry for your lost i now what your going through heres my story hope you trust in god and just ask for strength and for support email me anytime if you need to talk.
I lost him before i got to know him beyond the kicks and heartbeats.
i was 27 weeks and 5 days when he stopped moving in my bely i went to the doctor to get chehed out and expected to be told he was ok but when they hooked us up for the stress test they couldnt find his heart beat so they calmly said that we get to have an ultrasound we thought nothing of it until they started checking us and we couldnt see any heart beat when they were listening the line was blue and no movement at all when they checked the cord for blood movement there wasnt any. the guy covered my belly with a towel and said there wasnt a heartbeat i just screamed no and started crying as my husband held me. the doc wheeled me to the birthing wing and called in my regular doc who just came in and gave me a hug and told me how sorry she was. she started the meds that day and it took 2days and 3 nights of labor to bring my son paul simon deal into this world i delivered him by myself with no doc or nurse in the roomy husband was on his way the doc was right down the hall heading to me and the nurse was in the other room grabbing everything for the birth he was 2lbs and2.2 oz and 15 and a half inches long he had dark hair and he was beautiful i kepy himin the room with me and just held him and cried my heart out at all my dreams that were shattered they found out the cord had twisted and just cut off everything i cried the entire time i was in the hospital from the time i came in to the time i left he was my baby boy and we wanted himmy husband and son luke whos 2 are dealing with it differently me i cant stop crying when i see something that reminds me of him a show i would watch a baby on tv something on the internet about babies i just cry and cry how do i cope how do i move on without feeling like hes bein forgotten hes the 4th child ive got in heaven i love my baby and will never let his memorie be forgotten even though he was only here for a short time he has touched our lives more than we know paul mommy daddy and big brother luke love you and always will pauldeal.lastmemories.com/index.php
this is my sons page i set up not to long ago.
Thank you for your response. I am terribly sorry for your loss. I too have a hard time watching shows that show babies taken to soon. It just rips my heart out and brings back the memories of that day. I don't know why I woke up in labor or why the dr. didn't try to even help her that day, and there are days that I still am angry with God for taking my sweet angel. I have so many unanswered questions that only he can answer. The nurses on the floor that day felt so bad for me they went to the gift shop and bought her a doll outfit, two blankets, a baby ring, a baby bracelet, made a mold of her feet prints, did her foot prints with ink and took pictures of her and us. Unfortunetly all I have out of all of that is one tiny small cut picture in a locket. My ex husband was upset with me for having him put in jail and well needless to say those belongings and everything from the funeral were not returned to me. It is something that kills me everyday. He truly knew how to hurt me.