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| How to cope http://forum.last-memories.com/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=3186 |
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| Author: | betsyw [ Mon Jul 05, 2010 11:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | How to cope |
I am a single divorced Mother I lost my First and only baby boy Angelo Edward due to a under developed heart and other complications just a few weeks after he was born. I was a person who originally was not certain I wanted kids as I never had the pleasure of being around them much or having gotten to babysit or anything. I felt I would not know what to do or how to handle it . I was beyond scared . I delivered him by emergency c-section Oct. 30th 2008 and was overwhelmed by different feelings of being a mom and all the surgeries they had to perform on him. I then got to hold him for the first time and BEYOND FELL IN LOVE. I suddenly had purpose and direction and visions of my new life and it was perfect. My parents were so excited to have a grandchild to spoil finally and I put my fears away with a million kisses to his sweet little head and hands and feet. I was amazed at how soft he was and how beautiful his eyes were looking up at me and was in awe of the fact everyone said some of my features. I couldn't wait to bring him home to my dogs and friends and just love him. But they were unable to save him and he died. I swear part of me did also as I struggle with not moving on 2 years later. I went from Not being able to discuss it out of pain to feeling the need to more now but when I do people just get uncomfortable with the subject and tell me move on. I do want to move on but I also never want to forget. I of course struggle with holidays/anniversary's and even when I see little boy clothes or toys in the store. I often wonder how tall he would be by now and if he'd like this or that and I smile and then want to cry. |
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| Author: | betsyw [ Mon Jul 05, 2010 11:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to cope |
I also feel guilty for originally being so scared to have him and not sure I wanted him,I hate myself those thought were in my head as how could I not appreciate MY perfect little miracle/blessing. But I loved/LOVE him still with every body and miss him all the time. I love Angelo so much. |
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| Author: | Angel4 [ Mon Jul 05, 2010 11:25 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to cope |
never feel you cant talk about him most people feel if they dont talk about him you will feel better the think that if they talk about him it will hurt you worse i have lost 4 babies 3 miscarages and one born sleeping paul simon deal. we have one child with us luke hes 3 and we cant wait to meet our other babies in heaven. im on face book if you need to talk and so are many other women who have gone through this. |
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| Author: | betsyw [ Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:48 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to cope |
I am so sorry for all you have been through,but am thrilled you have managed to get through it and have one child with you. Thank-you for your kind words and support it really helps being from someone who knows the pain. I truly appreciate it. I hope to have another one some day and can't wait to meet my son in heaven also. |
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