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 Post subject: I feel like rambling I guess...i really miss him
PostPosted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 2:07 am 
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Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2010 1:20 am
Posts: 18
Its been over a year now..and I think about him every day and the worst part about it is i still cant smile without crying when I talk about him or see a picture or anything..I cant get my heart to stop breaking and my gut to stop turning..i find myself sick everyday and can barely get through every day tasks...i thought after a year things would ease but to be honest I cant get my heart to stop aching so bad and my mind to stop racing..sometimes i wake up in cold sweats and tears runnin down my face cause i relive that day in dreams like it was yesterday its like something is trying to remind me my son is not with me..sometimes i just want to forget that day ever happened cause it hurts so bad..i wish he was here with me and not away from me..i hate hearing other kids saying mom and and i never got the chance to hear it from my own child...my step daughters mother makes me crazy sometimes when she rubs in my face that im not her daughters mother..well heres reality to her I WANT MY SON!! i love her daughter as if she were my own but i want my son back...my birthday is tomorrow and I am having a hard time with this i guess i just needed to ramble some words hoping someone can relate


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 Post subject: Re: I feel like rambling I guess...i really miss him
PostPosted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 6:50 pm 
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Joined: Mon May 24, 2010 9:46 pm
Posts: 6
Its been 2 years since my 13 month old daughter Laycee Grace Johnson was murdered by my boyfriend while i was at work. I am on heavy, i mean heavy sleep meds and i stilll have the nightmares reliving that day. I miss her more everyday. It never stops, the pain is always right there below the surface. I am so sorry for what your going through. That ladys a b**** to rub in your face that your not the girls mother. I often see mothers with thier babies and just break down. Feelings so cheated. No one understands the death of a child unless they have suffered it themselves. Doctors dont even know what to say. I am rambling now but you are in my thoughts and prayers.


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 Post subject: Re: I feel like rambling I guess...i really miss him
PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2010 3:03 pm 
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Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2010 1:20 am
Posts: 18
I really appreciate your reply..i can't find the words to explain how sorry I am for your loss..but your right, no one knows how it feels unless it happens to them..it hurts so bad I feel like i can never be whole again..thank you for your prayers and Ill be praying for you too!


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