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 Post subject: flash backs of that horrid day =[
PostPosted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 11:34 pm 
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Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2010 1:20 am
Posts: 18
I find myself angry lately. And im not really sure if its complete anger or if im just depressed. I can't believe my baby would be 19 months already. Last night I had a horrible breakdown at work. And being a waitress you can't cry and wait on tables. I couldn't breathe and did everything i could to choke back my tears until i could get outside the building..David died June 16 2009 and it still eats me alive inside. One of my really good friends gave birth to a beautiful baby boy yesterday and I am truelly happy for her and Im so happy that her baby was born healthy even though he was born early..but my question is, is it normal to be upset because my son was born early and he didnt make it?? Is it normal for me to resent her because she has a healthy baby and that is all I ever wanted?? I dont know how to feel and if the feelings i do feel are normal..I even resent my step daughters mother and I find myself not wanting to be around my step daughter(aubri) in result of my feelings lately..I feel so hurt and I feel like a third party in every aspect when it comes to her in my own home. but anyway, I am flashing back to the day my son died, his swollen belly and his eyes begging for some relief. It looked like a bouncy ball.. and it may sound stupid but every time i see a stupid bouncy ball i cringe..I need some support lately because my husband doesnt like to talk about the whole thing..I know i repeat myself alot and yes i may sound crazy but all i want to do is vent i finally feel like i can talk about this..does anyone know how i feel?? :?


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 Post subject: Re: flash backs of that horrid day =[
PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 7:10 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jul 08, 2010 1:43 pm
Posts: 12
I am so sorry for you are feeling like you don't have support. I can only imagine how you feel losing a child.

I lost my sister in 2004 to suicide and can only tell you how I have coped. I preach about support groups pertaining to what you have dealt with. I went to a support group at a local hospital where they meet monthly. Walking into that room and seeing all the faces of people who truly knew how I was feeling was exactly what I needed in the beginning. I needed to know that how I was feeling was normal. It also gave me the base I needed. And I have made lasting friends.

I recommend that you research in your local area for other mothers who have lost children. Go to a meeting, try it. And don't be worried, you don't have to say anything, they will understand. But for me, I felt better every time I told my story.

Sending you a bit of peace,
Tina

_________________
LiVe~LoVe~LaUgh


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 Post subject: Re: flash backs of that horrid day =[
PostPosted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 3:03 pm 
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Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2010 1:20 am
Posts: 18
thank you for your kind words tina i really appreciate it and im so sorry about your sister my prayers and thoughts are with you


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 Post subject: Re: flash backs of that horrid day =[
PostPosted: Sun Dec 19, 2010 3:09 pm 
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Joined: Sun Dec 19, 2010 3:04 pm
Posts: 2
I would assume its completely normal. You lost a child. I have not lost a child thank GOD but my grandmother has, My father. And through her, I feel her pain because no child should be able to go before their mother. I could NEVER imagine losing any of my 3 girls. When you need to cry, CRY! no matter where you are. Holidays are rough for many people especially me as today is my fathers bday and its only been not even 3 years since hes been gone. You will find strength to get through everything. its completely normal to feel the feelings you are feeling! Happy Holidays :P

Tasha
Daughter to Charles J Long Jr


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