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ANGRY AT THE WORLD
http://forum.last-memories.com/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=338		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  momma to3 boys [ Tue Sep 11, 2007 11:40 am ]
Post subject:  ANGRY AT THE WORLD
I HAVE NEVER BEEN AN ANGRY PERSON,I CANT HELP IT ,IM SO HURT AND ANGRY HOW CAN THE WORLD JUST GO ON???I WAS WITH MY SISTER YESTERDAY,WE WENT TO A CITY COUNCIL MEETING I AM FIGHTING TO KEEP MEMORIAL WREATH UP FOR CHRIS,IT HAS TURNED IN TO A CAMPAIGN TO NOW PUT STANDARDIZED WREATHS UP.THATS ANOTHER STORY.TO LISTEN TO PEOPLE TALK ABOUT EEG ROLLS AND BOOK CLUBS AND WHAT BRAND OF SHOES YOU WEAR.I WANT TO SCREAM CHRIS PASSED AWAY DONT YOU UNDERSTAND,EVEN MY DAD SAID WHAT ARE YOU SO TIRED FOR CARLA,I WANTED TO COME HOME.I JUST FEEL SO FRUSTRATED HOW PEOPLE ARE OVER CHRIS GOING FROM THIS EARTH.I JUST NEED TO VENT .I AM DEVASTATED.I TOLD MY BEST FRIEND I CANT TALK WITH HER ANY MORE BECAUSE SHE DOESNT GET ME ANY MORE SHES BEEN MY FRIEND FOR 22 YEARS.I FEEL TIRED OF TRYING TO EXPLAIN HOW I FEEL TO HER.
Author:  Tonya [ Tue Sep 11, 2007 11:57 am ]
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My dear friend, I'm so sorry you're having to go through this battle. Unless a person has been where we are, they have absolutely no idea what it's like. They can tell us that they understand, but I just know that those empty words. You're such a wonderful mother....you keep fighting for what you want!!!! I pray that God gives you the strength and determination that you need. I love you, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Author:  Barbara [ Tue Sep 11, 2007 11:58 am ]
Post subject: 
I'm sorry you feel so much pain and heartache today.Some people in this world don't understand,you're right,they can be really cold .Putting up wreaths,flowers or anything else you want should be your right as a mother who loves and misses her child.
I'm not to good with words.but I can totally understand how you feelyou will be in my prayers Love you and sending lots of HUGS!
Barbara
Author:  Lynda [ Tue Sep 11, 2007 12:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
Dearest Carla,
(((HUGS)))
Living without our children is the most devastating, hardest, most draining experience a human being could ever be forced to live through. Why is it that people have no problem saying "I can't imagine" after being told our stories, and then shortly after they want to criticize where we are in our grief?
I am so sorry you are having to experience this with your own best friend, your family, and the city counsel. We would never want these people to understand the pain we feel but we wish we could be respected for how we feel. Know that we are here for you Carla. It upsets me to read about people wanting to stop what little we can do for our children and for ourselves. This includes talking about our children and you hanging a personalized wreath for Chris. Know that you can come on here Carla and share Chris with us any time.
Hugs,
Lynda
Author:  JANE_E [ Tue Sep 11, 2007 12:49 pm ]
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We sure recognize this feeling.......... it feels as if the world simply doesn't care. It's so hard for our minds to wrap around the fact that the world kept turning....... didn't even miss a beat while our hearts were ripped from our bodies.

I'm so sorry you're going through this now..... or ever, for that matter. It's a normal reaction to an abnormal event. It's an absolute catastrophe to us, our lives are shattered forever, and people are talking about menial things as if they mattered??? It makes our minds crazy. I've shouted at people, cried and ranted and raved, but they think you've just gone around the bend............ it does no good.

But, I've learned a few things about grief........... when I see someone grieving, I pay attention now. I know too well the insanity it throws you into. It's impossible to be reasonable and tolerant of so many things when you're hurting so badly.

It makes me so angry to even hear of events like yours.......... but I wonder now.........
was I like that "before" ? I don't know if I was or not. I've always felt the pain of others and been open to their grief, but all that is different now.......... I not only feel it, I seem to absorb it........... I share it. That's not always good and leaves me so vulnerable. I cry when I see an obituary in the paper if it's a young person or a child, I can really get upset.

Maybe that is our "lesson" in life.......... maybe our purpose now is to realize and to try to comfort people who are afflicted with all kinds of pains and grief. I wish I knew, I'd like to start it so God will call me home. I'm ready to go anytime he wants me.

love,
jane
Author:  Tonya [ Tue Sep 11, 2007 1:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
Jane...you said something that struck me....you said that you wonder if you like those people "before". WOW....what a strong statement!!!!! It sent me thinking. Years and years and years ago, my Aunt had lost a son to Hodgkin's Disease. Then one month to the day of his passing, another one of her sons and his wife were killed in an auto accident. I used to wonder why she was so upset all the time and why she was bitter. I sympathized with her along with the rest of my family. Only when I lost my own boys, did I realize exactly why she felt and acted the way she did. It opened my eyes wider then they have ever been open before. I now know why she felt and acted the way she did. Granted, she was with her boys way longer than I was with mine, but I still understood the pain and grief of losing a child. Now, when I speak with someone who has lost anyone in their life, I pay much closer attention. I listen with my whole heart.....just as I would want someone to listen to me. My Aunt is no longer with us, she passed away several months ago. And I know that she has never been as happy as she is right now; she's with her children. Oh how I long for that day!!!
Author:  Cindy [ Tue Sep 11, 2007 2:57 pm ]
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Carla, I know and I'm sorry. You have every right to be angry. Be gentle with yourself, this awful anger is so much a part of it all. I know you say you have never been an angry person so it probably just upsets you even more that you are so angry know. Don't think bad of yourself. Just go ahead and feel that anger. The Lord understands and in time He will help you to understand it and come to terms with it (for lack of better words).
Someday we're all going to be in Heaven with our children and all of this heartache and pain is going to be gone forever!
I love you and I'm praying for you, Cindy
Author:  momma to3 boys [ Tue Sep 11, 2007 6:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
ladies thank you,i know each of you know how i feel :(
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