MadameApothecary wrote:
It is hard and while I believe most people mean well they don't and can't understand your loss and your pain unless they've experienced it first hand. It does get better but it takes alot of work. You have to be willing to live your life without your child being there physically. I might buy a special flower or plant to put in the garden in her honor. If I see something that I know she would love I might buy it and add it to the altar or put it to use in the house in her honor. For the most part, I can talk about her and think about her without crying. I am living my life as best I can and doing things that I enjoy. I am happy overall. .
Very good post . Your points about others not understanding really hits home with me . I had lost both of my parents within 3 months of each other just over 3 years ago so I understood alot of what was going on when my daughter was killed . However I was shocked at how much deeper the grief went but most of all after about 3 months some very close friends of ours began the "it's time to move on stuff " inviting us to outings that we used to do with our daughter ect .
We are simply not ready to do these things and some have been persistent one even insinuating we may be hurting our younger daughter by not attending certain gatherings . I refuse to go somewhere when I know my wife and I will be miserable and end up breaking down . People need to learn sometimes they should keep thier mouths shut and mind their own business . They have no CLUE what a parent whose child has died are going through .
I enjoyed your post and we have also planted various bushes and trees that were my late daughters favorite color . I am glad you seem to have found some peace and I pray that day comes for my wife , younger daughter and myself sooner rather than later . We are not there yet and I wish others would respect this . If some don't start I told my wife we will have to remove them from our lives . The last thing we need is anyone else causing us pain .
Thankfully we have many who are compassionate and have been great throughout our tradgedy . You find out alot about your friends , family and neighbors when this happens to you . I hope the OP reads your post . I found it comforting and I am 4 months into this process . She is at the very beginning . Thank you .