On July 8, 2011, I lost my newborn son and newborn daughter to RDS and IVH. They were 38 days old. I can't begin to describe how I feel because I'm not sure exactly, but cheated and robbed come to mind. When I'm not in the fog that seems to be my existence, I'm mad at the world. I can't wrap my head around the fact that they are gone. I sit staring at their pictures and the tiny boxes of their cremains hoping this nightmare isn't my reality. I can't relate to the people around me because I feel consumed by the loss. My poor, sweet, darling babies I feel as though my soul had been torn out and nothing is left.
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