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 Post subject: Why you can't get over the loss of your child.
PostPosted: Sun Dec 25, 2011 7:17 am 
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Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2009 12:45 pm
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Everyone who feels as if they will never get over the loss or here people say time will heal. Believe me I will never get over my son not being here any longer.

It is called COMPLICATED GREIF... I am stuck!!!!! To me it feels like yesterday. I was driving myself nuts, why I was feeling as if it just happened. That is what complicated grief is. I am still in the same condition the day my son was taken from me.
I will never get over it, nor will I stop hurting, crying, being in pain and all the other feeling. If you are feeling the same thing write me.

Sincerely,
Debbie/Joey DeMatthews Mom


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 Post subject: Re: Why you can't get over the loss of your child.
PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 4:37 pm 
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Joined: Thu Mar 29, 2012 1:56 pm
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Hello Debbie,

Can I just say first of all how much I sincerely appreciate your honesty and raw emotion. I have visited your website & i have to say I totally agree, whether it happens gradually, or suddenly, peacefully, or violently, there just isn't anything that can truly brace you for such a loss. A lot of folks can only tell us to just cope the best we can, or that it's just part of the cycle ("time will heal"). But at the end of it all, it's exactly as you said, it's just not right. It's an un-natural, crushing, and tragic event no matter which way you cut it. I would imagine that you feel as if a part of you is forever lost, and your heart desperate for some kind of resolution, like is there anything or anyone who can ever correct this? You know you desperately need to be healed, but you just can't find something to hold on to. The only way you can see it being corrected, is to have your son restored to you exactly as he was before he left.

As I think about my loss, and the loss of others such as yourself, there are some things that really infuse hope back into me. A scripture found at Job 14:14, 15 states..."If an able-bodied man dies can he live again? All the days of my compulsory service I shall wait until my relief comes. You will call & I myself shall answer you, for the work of your hands you will have a longing". Another is found at Acts 24:15..."And I have hope toward God, which these men themselves also entertain, that there is going to be a resurrection of both the righteous and the unrighteous". It means EVERYTHING to me to see in the Bible, that the very thing we hope for, the one & only thing that can completely rectify the situation has been a promise from God from the beginning. The hope of having our loved ones restored here on the earth! As you & I continue in our "compulsory service", and try to press on it can be so comforting to take a closer look at Bible truths that give us real evidence that a bright future is in store for us.

Some other scriptures that you may really be able to relate to are Ecclesiastes 9:11, 1 Kings 17:17-24, Luke 7:11-16, John 5:28-29, & Revelation 21:3-5. These truths have given me something real to hold onto & I hope they can provide a measure of healing for you in the meantime. If ever you can find time, please feel free to let me know what you think.

Until then be assured that you and yours are in my prayers...

Sincerely, Mimi


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