MY STORY

Lynda · **Posted:** Fri Sep 14, 2007 11:02 pm

Garion was involved in an ATV accident while we were on vacation, visiting family. He WAS wearing his helmet. Behind a newly built shed at his great-granparents house was a temporary retaining wall that was normally blocked by a work truck. We just came in from riding and a few of us were preparing to head back out. Craig asked me if I wanted to drive Garion's ATV for a change of pace. Garion looked at me with those bright blue eyes and I smiled at him and said no. Garion then smiled back at me for the last time. He then looked at his daddy and asked if he could go over to where his great-grandparents were in the yard while he waited for us. Craig said yes. He followed the path the truck had made heading around the shed. 4 seconds later, not even out of first gear, he went over the 3 ft. retaining wall. It was exactly 1 ft. behind the shed, not enough time for Garion to see it and stop. I heard an aweful noise and ran towards Garion. I saw him laying under the ATV. His daddy and grandpa threw the ATV off of him and his grandma called 911. Calyn and Rylon were also there, and this has been so hard on them to have seen. I remember every detail of what I saw and what I heard. We talked to Garion telling him to stay strong, help was coming, and that we love him. There was a moment I had to look away, because I thought if I didn't see him laying there none of this would be real. I wanted so badly to die, and I thought I was. I watched my son take his last breath and it didn't matter what we or the paramedics did (we all tried EVERYTHING). The moment Garion was face to face with God, he wasn't going to want to come back home. He was home!

Garion died from cerebral head trauma, even though he was wearing a helmet. The back bar of the ATV hit the edge of his helmet, the weakest point, when it came down. His helmet couldn't sustain the impact.

Phew...I think this is the first time I have shared this on a forum and I thank you ladies for being there for me. I hope writing this out will somehow help me...because I hurt so much right now. I miss Garion so much!

Hugs,
Lynda

Tonya · **Posted:** Fri Sep 14, 2007 11:23 pm

Oh Lynda, how absolutely heart breaking. I am so, so sorry. Such a devastating accident; and for your other children to witness all of it. My heart goes out to all of you. I'm sure that Garion is looking down on his family with great pride...pride for allowing his memory to live on in the hearts of people that never knew him. Lynda, it is an honor for me to have met you and learned of precious Garion; and I will forever carry his memory and your family in my heart. Thank you so very much for sharing this with us. God Bless you all.

Jo Ann · **Posted:** Fri Sep 14, 2007 11:24 pm

Sweet Lynda,

I know how much courage it took to write Garion and your families story. I am so proud of you for doing this. I know just putting the words on paper are excruciating, but I do think it will help you as you tell your story by the written word and spoken word. Speak about it with every ounce of your breath. We are here to listen and to support you with our love and understanding. By telling and telling and telling our story we somehow begin to deal with it in a deep internal way. Yes, it hurts like hell, but we hurt all the time anyway, and we are each thinking about our child's personal story no matter what we may be doing - fixing school lunches, driving the car, washing dishes, doing laundry, taking a shower, fixing dinner. The story is always and will always be part of our story. It is not a story line we would have ever chosen, but I guess the grief process is slowly, painfully, teaching us that our child's story will always be part of our life's tapestry, and somehow we are inching toward incorporating it into our story and our new reality. Now I do not have any answers on how to do this, but just keep telling Garion and your story as often and as many times as you wish. I dear friend will listen and hear your pain and feel your empty broken heart.
Plus by sharing your story you are also help me and the other grieving moms on our forum. I learn from your pain, I cry with your tears, and I realize that none of us are alone on this horrendous grief journey . We have each other. We care. I love you, Sweet Lynda, and you took a big step today in sharing your story. I feel honored to be able to listen and feel your pain. Thank you for having the courage. You are helping us, yourself, and looking the unimaginable and unthinkable directly in the eye and not running from it. Only by being with our deepest pain can we somehow incorporate it into us. I am still trying to walk this jumbled maze also.

My love and understanding i give to you,

Barbara · **Posted:** Fri Sep 14, 2007 11:43 pm

Lynda, My heart breaks for you and your family.I know how hard it is to talk about what has happen it just makes everything all to real.
We are all here for you,we share your tears and understand your heartache.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers,
Love,
Barbara

MissingMyMelody&Mommy · **Posted:** Fri Sep 14, 2007 11:58 pm

Lynda,

Thank you so much for being courageous enough to share the story of the tragic way you lost your son with us. I know that my asking you about it had something to do with you sharing it and I know it hurts to write it out but after I finished Melody's (and could stop having to tell the story over and over again) it lifted some of the burden off of me and I hope that this did the same for you. My children also witnessed Melody's tragic drowning as Landon was in the bath with her and Jarred and Jake came running when I started screaming. Jake was shielded from most of it but Jarred (my oldest, he'll be 12 Oct. 6th) saw her lying there on the floor, pale, limp, lifeless and blue-lipped. Of course Landon did too because he was still standing in the bath. It's so difficult to lose a child and to help the others cope while you yourself are barely making it. Jarred and Landon went to counseling for a couple of weeks following this tragedy but that counselor just wasn't right for them and Landon wasn't sharing anyway. Jarred has since been in counseling with a therapist that is partners with my therapist so we are seeing significant changes in him. Also we sent him to Camp HUGS (Healing and Understanding Through Grief Support) for the weekend back in April (it was totally free) and that helped him a lot too.

Again, thank you for sharing Garion's story with us and your family is in my prayers always.

Love,
Crystal

Cece · **Posted:** Sat Sep 15, 2007 12:05 am

Lynda,
Although I knew Garion's story, it still was painful to read. We all have equally disturbing stories and I too share your grief. It is what holds me together, having others who understand implicitly what I am feeling. Thank you for the wonderful person you are. I love you.
Lucy

Cindy · **Posted:** Sat Sep 15, 2007 12:17 am

Lynda, I feel like I may have already said too much so I'm going to just send you this {{{Hug}}} and tell you I love you and I care and just keep praying for my special friend.
Love, Cindy :cry:

Lynda · **Posted:** Sat Sep 15, 2007 9:42 am

Dear Tammy, Cindy, Lucy, Crystal, Barbara, Jo Ann, and Tonya,
Thank you so much for being there for me to share my story with. It was difficult to write and it has taken me 2 years to post it. I hope it will help other families be aware of the dangers of ATV's and to be so careful when allowing children to ride. Accidents happen even when we do all the right things as I am learning from reading all of your stories as well. It just makes me so so so sad! I love you ladies and again, thank you for all of your support and love you have shown me.
Hugs,
Lynda

Susan · **Posted:** Sat Sep 15, 2007 10:52 am

Lynda,

God bless your heart, I'm so sorry. It breaks my heart for you reading your story. A happy, fun filled family day turned into a disaster in a moment. It just isn't right, or fair and I'm so sorry Garion and you and the rest of your family had to go through something so traumatic and heartbreaking.

How are your other children doing?

God bless you and keep you all in His tender loving care, today, tomorrow and always.

Love,
Susan

Lynda · **Posted:** Sat Sep 15, 2007 12:32 pm

Dear Susan,
Thank you for your support and open arms. My other children have had a difficult time with this, especially my daughter. Calyn was 6 and Rylon was 4 at the time of the accident. Calyn remembers and talks openly about evething. Rylon goes back and forth with what he remembers. Rylon and Garion shared a room and this has been the most difficult for him, sleeping without his big brothers protection. Calyn continues to suffer from nightmares and is very "jumpy" and paranoid of something bad happening. To her, her nightmares seem so real. I had both of the children in counseling, individual and family counseling after the accident. They have each found their own little way of expressing their grief. Calyn likes to write songs about her brother or draw pictures, Rylon takes care of Garion's things in "their" room. I try so hard to be there for them and encourage them to let their feelings out. I know how hard it is for my adult mind to process what I saw and heard, much less a child. I am not able to change what their little minds saw, but I hope and pray that God will help them to use their experience to help others when they are older. Thank you for asking about them, they mean the world to me.
Hugs,
Lynda

Patsy-VernsMom · **Posted:** Sat Sep 15, 2007 1:37 pm

My heart breaks for you, as for all Mom's. Being witness to what happen to our precious babies is living in a never ending nitemare. I too, live with that day and nite. I pray sweet memories and thoughts flood the awful ones out . You all are in my thoughts and prayers.

God Bless
Patsy

JANE_E · **Posted:** Sat Sep 15, 2007 1:56 pm

Lynda,

My blessed friend, I had not forgotten one word of this from our telephone conversation, and as I read it I could hear your voice..........telling me about it and it made me cry......

I'm so sorry, I've shared with you some of my fears about them and my warnings to my nephew......... but........... he tells me.......... "I always wear my helmet"....... what could I say after that? His father believes that little boys are capable of so much more than us worrying moms, aunts, grandmas think they are. So, I didn't elaborate........ I just spoke to his mother, my niece.

I know how difficult it is to tell it all over again, but it's so therapeutic..... because we relive it so often in our brains that it helps to just get it out for others to know. And, we never know when we might save a life by sharing our stories.

I love you Lynda, We've shared your pain,your tears and your sweet Garion. We all feel, somehow, as if all these angels belong to all of us.

Jane

larceneaux · **Joined:** Mon Aug 27, 2007 10:39 pm **Posts:** 26

Lynda...I am so sorry for the loss of your handsome little angel. It breaks my heart to read his story. I know exactally how you feel that this is the first time you post your story...I have still never posted Tyler's. You are in my prayers. No mother or parent have to suffer the loss of a child. As long as I live I will never understand.
God Bless.
lisa

momma to3 boys · **Joined:** Fri Aug 31, 2007 2:34 pm **Posts:** 171

Lynda,hearing your story breaks my heart.I can feel you pain and still feel the fear in your words as you were worrying for your sons life.I'm so sorry you and I and everyone of us have to experience the loss of our beloved children.it just isn't right.much hugs.Carla

MY STORY

Who is online