OK I'm tired...

Cindy · **Posted:** Thu Sep 20, 2007 11:17 am

I just wanted to let my friends know that if you notice I don't answer any posts from now through the weekend it's not because I don't care. I have a lot to do and not much time or desire to do it.
My youngest daughter Sarah's birthday is tomorrow and birthdays are like holidays for our family...hard to get through since B.J.'s been gone. Yet still we have to do what we need to do to make them special for our children. I always fix B.J.'s memory of site up for the special occasions and I got to get that done some time today. It's just something I do to try to keep our boys being a part of our lives.
Then I have to get my house cleaned because company is coming from out of town for her birthday. Sarah's little guy-friend...not boyfriend. He is just a wanna be! No boyfriends allowed for at least another year!
Then my Pastor's youngest daughter is getting married on Sat. Please pray for us on that one. Weddings are really hard knowing we will never get to see B.J. get married and raise a family. He would have been a wonderful husband and Daddy.
Then on Sunday we have a visiting evangelist coming that is awesome. But...as good as I know it will be it's still going to take every ounce of energy and will power I have to make myself get ready and go. I sound terrible don't I? I'm sorry, I do love Church and I love the Lord but this is just one of those things that I still find so hard to do since losing B.J.
Just thinking about all of it has me so tired already! I'll make it though...always have and always will.
So anyway I just wanted you to know that you can't get rid of me that easy...I will be back!!!
I love ya'll, Cindy

Tonya · **Posted:** Thu Sep 20, 2007 11:21 am

We'll be here for you!!!!!!

Jo Ann · **Posted:** Thu Sep 20, 2007 1:50 pm

Dear Cindy,
Just reading all you have planned made me tired! I'll be thinking of you and sending you lots of love,

Lynda · **Posted:** Thu Sep 20, 2007 2:36 pm

Dear Cindy,
Wow ~ you are busy, busy, busy. We will be here, keeping your boys in our thoughts and your family in our prayers, as we await for your return. Please tell Sarah Happy Birthday for me

And when you get a chance, don't forget to take a moment out for yourself here and there

Hugs,
Lynda

Barbara · **Posted:** Thu Sep 20, 2007 3:36 pm

Cindy,
OK,you made me tired too.Hurry back and God Bless.
Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to your SARAH !!!

HUGS,
Barbara

Cindy · **Posted:** Thu Sep 20, 2007 3:55 pm

I'm just popping in to say I've got Sarah's Happy Birthday finished on B.J.'s front page if anyone would like to see it. Well, I'm outta here again!
Love yall, Cindy

ps. Thank you for the Happy Birthday wishes for Sarah. I'll be sure to pass them along. Oh she is going to love seeing B.J.'s site! I know it will make her sad too, but she's already sad. At least she will feel like he is a part of her special day. Oh and anyone that does look at it...the horse is because she loves horses and says she will have one in Heaven and the money is because on her last birthday with B.J. when she was 10, he gave her 10 $1 bills taped inside of a box and then taped the box shut so much we thought she would never get it open. The 1 to grow on is her little friend name Tanner that's coming to see her. She doesn't know he's coming. He lives 3 hours away!

Tonya · **Posted:** Thu Sep 20, 2007 4:08 pm

Cindy,

The site is just beautiful!!!!!! You are such a wonderful Momma....your children are so blessed.

Love you!!

Laurie · **Posted:** Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:55 pm

Cindy,

I know what you mean about weddings! Exactly! We've had to go to so many of them since Jake's been gone and it is so difficult for that same reason - he won't have that. Well, since he's in heaven and that's the best of everything, it's that WE won't have that - watching him have that kind of future and joy and children. What a great dad he would've been!

I gotta work all weekend. Leading a 24 hour retreat with some high school kids. Means I gotta get it planned, supplies ready and packed, drive some of the kids there, lead the whole thing, get pretty much no sleep, pack up, drive home, be to work early Monday morning. Boo Hoo for me, oh well. I do have some adult help, at least!

OH BTW ------ Happy birthday to Sarah. Family celebrations are bittersweet forevermore.

Peace,
Laurie

Laurie · **Posted:** Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:57 pm

Oh ----- I didn't mean to just sound sorry for myself! Cindy, take it as easy as you can. Take in as much of what's going on to be aware of and enjoy the happiness and "fruits" of your labor.

Wishing for everything to go well. Take it as easy as you can.

Laurie

Cindy · **Posted:** Sat Sep 22, 2007 5:38 pm

Well, Sarah had a great Birthday and enjoyed herself completely. Having Tanner come and surprise her was the perfect gift... I will never forget her reaction when he knocked on her bedroom door and she opened it to find him standing there.
She also loved her happy birthday from the boys on B.J.'s front page. She printed it off and took it to school to show all of her friends. I'm glad I did that for her.

Well, we got the wedding behind us. I am so glad. It was beautiful but it was so hard to do. Of course I cried at the wedding and the reception. We saw a lot of our friends that use to live here when B.J. was here. It was good to see them but hard to see them too. Does that make sense? No one said anything about B.J. but we could see it in their eyes and feel it in there hugs. Also when they asked how we were doing we knew what they meant. They are all such special people that this time words weren't needed. These were a lot of the same people that were at the hospital with us the night B.J. died. I know it doesn't require my saying to any of you...but my heart is so heavy right now.
Love, Cindy

Lynda · **Posted:** Sat Sep 22, 2007 5:45 pm

Dear Cindy,
After everything you had to handle physically, mentally, and even emotionally over the last week...I understand your heart feeling heavy right now. It sounds as if everything was a success, but I am sure your about to give out. Take it easy tomorrow if you can.
Hugs,
Lynda

Susan · **Posted:** Sat Sep 22, 2007 8:16 pm

Cindy,

Sending you lots of love, hugs and prayers. You've had a full plate, haven't you?!

Take care of yourself!

Love,
Susan

Cindy · **Posted:** Mon Sep 24, 2007 1:52 am

I survived! Now I can fall apart and feel better. Thank you for keeping me in prayer.
Love yall, Cindy

OK I'm tired...

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