|
Hi my friends,
I just had a wonderful surprise........ a close friend from high school just called me. Keep in mind I was in the class of 1960, from a small little town. My class has clung closely to each other for all these years.
They meet once a week, every Wednesday night, for dinner, in different places. I use to go all the time but I quit after Scott passed. There was so much going on I couldn't bear to sit in a group of laughing people. They have called me, sent flowers to me, many, many cards.... in fact I got one just today.......... They just want to be there for me but I haven't been emotionally or mentally in a place to feel comfortable with a large group. These are not young people, I'm 65 and they are all right at the same age.... There are so many people who have lost loved ones, but it's usually a spouse that they've lost.
Anyway, one of my dear friends, Darlene, from all my school years, called tonight. We talked for more than an hour. She lives and works in Las Vegas. She lost her son, Guy, in an accident 25 years ago when he was only 21. She said she still feels the pain, acutely at times but for the most part, she's doing ok now. She said the hole is still there, and will be forever, but she is able to feel and enjoy happiness once again. She's convinced that she'll be with her son when she passes.
It was horrible for her, for about ten years she thought she'd never see daylight again. She quit her job in Seattle and moved to Las Vegas for the sunshine. She's a occupational counselor for disabled people. Anyway......... she was so wonderful to call me and share with me and tell me what she went through. She was alone, divorced, with one other child, a grown up daughter that she remains very close to .
She has a very strong faith, very strong, and she told me that was what saved her sanity and her life. She had one sister left and her daughter and that was all she had family wise.
She told me about going to grief counseling shortly after it happened, (she was still living in Seattle) at the hospital there locally and how she just got up and walked out and never went back..........but then she found a couple who were doing grief counseling in a church........ and they were so helpful to her. She said she met people who had suffered such terrible losses that she almost felt fortunate that her son had died instantly.
The couple that started the counseling did so because they had lost their only daughter. This young girl was ready to start college at the U of Washington and wanted to spread her wings and fly independently so her parents rented her an apartment in the U district of Seattle. Her landlord came in supposedly to fix the weather seals on her windows, but instead he rigged them so he could sneak in during the night. He tied her up, raped her and stabbed her to death.
Darlene told me that she sat and shared with all of those parents and for the first time, began to open up and realize that her son had not experienced the horror of anything like that. She said there's no good way to lose a child, but she realized that by her son passing instantly in the accident........... she believes he was spared the torture and fear that some children experience. But then, we both believe that the angels come to them before death and remove their spirit so they don't have to experience those final moments.
She gave me her phone number and will be calling me regularly and we'll exchange emails. She had no-one 25 years ago, no forum, no memory site, and a few people at work who tried to be kind but could not understand what had happened to her.
I love her so much and having her call out of the blue.....was so touching to me. She told me she was there for me 24/7 and I could call her in the middle of the night if I need her.
We've all said that to each other also.........." I'm here.........whenever you need me....call me." It seems to mean more coming from someone who's experienced the loss of a child. They truly do "get it".
I just wanted to share that with you all. Having a voice from my past reach out to me like that touched my heart. Another friend had emailed her and told her what had happened to my son.......... so she called. I hadn't seen her since our 40th reunion. Then she was only in town for one night, so we really didn't spend much time together.
Friends are more important than ever when something like this happens to us. Anyone who reaches out and says "I'm here, and I know, truly know, what you're going through".... is worth their weight in gold.
I love each of you and all of you,
jane
_________________ Scott Matthew HIll - 2 years old
To lose a child teaches one what the word bereavement really means. There is no loss equal to the loss of a child.
“We are each of us angels with only one wing. And we can only fly embracing each other."
~Luciano De Crescenzo
www.scottmatthew-hill.last-memories.com
|
