Does anyone else do the 'count down thing'?
I start it about 3 days before the date she passed away ,October 10, 2001 2:30 pm ,,
in 11 minutes the day will start, I have tried different things to try and be different on this day but it always comes down to the same day same pain ,
It seems like I have an alarm clock set to kick me in the heart at 2:30 pm no matter what I planed to use to distract myself,, I tried babysitting my grandson who is a real 'grandmas boy' I have tried being somewhere else besides here doing something else besides what I 'normally' ( I use the word normally lightly )
There is no escaping the 'anniversary" of the moment that she took her last breath on this earth.. 7 years she will be been gone ,, my brother always called me on the nite before and the day of but he was killed August 25 when his semi went over a 20 ft. embankment so I feel sorta' like an orphan ,,
I can't remember the sound of her laugh or her smell or I have the last bottle of perfume she used nut without her chemitsy to make it her specail scent it just smells like
a bottle of ' toilet water'
( my grandpa's favorite words when anyone had to used perfume of aftershave )
Thanks for letting me wa wa here,,,
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX kat
The day will be over in less than 12 hours now , thats always a good thought,,,
