ad, lonely, heart-broken, angry, empty.....
I came home tonight to an empty house; the first time in a long time. Nadia is with her Dad, Chuck is at work so it is just me and the dogs. I just broke down. The thoughts, the memories, the dreams of things that will never be; I sit here at the computer wondering why? Why do we have to go through this? Why does it have to hurt so much? Why can't our children be here with us, where they're supposed to be???? After 6 years, the pain is so intense; it's like my boys went to be with Jesus yesterday. Will it ever lessen?
Will it ever go away??? I just want to know why? I was supposed to go first. Not them. None of our children were supposed to before their parents. It's just not right. That's not the way it works. Somedays are better than others, yes, I can agree with that. But that void, that pain is ALWAYS there.
It will ALWAYS be there.....until I get to be with them again. God I can't wait for that day.
I can't wait to look at my precious boys little faces and tell them how much mommy loves them and how much I have missed them.
So yes, today I feel as though there is no light at the end of my tunnel; at least not today. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Maybe.......