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Today I Feel..............
http://forum.last-memories.com/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=825
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Author:  Cindy [ Sat Dec 22, 2007 8:20 pm ]
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Today I feel like my world is crashing down around me and there's no way of escape. I'm so broken. :cry:

Author:  Cece [ Tue Dec 25, 2007 12:51 am ]
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Sad, so sad. This is my first Christmas without Laura in this world. I am trying to hold it together for the rest of the family. I wear my mask. I smile and laugh, but inside my heart is breaking. I try to think of all the past Christmases with Laura and be thankful that I had her for so long. Those memories are bittersweet. She loved Christmas so much. After she no longer believed in Santa Claus, I recruited her to "help" by stuffing the stockings for everyone else. She felt so important. I knew she would keep the "secret" because she knew that if they no longer believed, they would get to "help" play Santa too. That worked for years for each of the kids as they grew up. After Laura grew up and had her own family she continued to keep "the magic" alive. Oh yes, we all knew the "reason for the season". We always celebrated it as Jesus' birthday. We knew that Santa represented the spirit of giving and that the exchange of gifts was representative of the gifts from the Magi. I remember that after the Christmas eve services every child would get a bad of goodies on their way out of church. How Laura loved that. These memories are so sweet. How can they be making me feel so sad. My heart aches for her children who are having their first Christmas without a mom. I pray for God to give me the strength to get through tomorrow. Thank you for listening.

Author:  Cindy [ Tue Dec 25, 2007 2:46 am ]
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My family had our Christmas get to together today on Christmas Eve. We always have since we use to spend Christmas day with Bobby's Mom before she passed away. So all of it is behind us more or less and tomorrow will just be a day to rest for us. But now I'm so very sad. All I've wanted to do for the past several hours is just cry. :cry: I miss my Buddy so much.

Author:  JANE_E [ Tue Dec 25, 2007 3:34 am ]
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I had all of my immediate family here tonight....... My son Michael, his wife Tara,son Michael and daughter Mariah. My daughter Laurie, her husband Steve, their son Steven and his wife Nicole and their baby...little Steven. Also, Laurie's daughter MacKenzie. Scott's wife Kelli, his sons Kevin & Christopher and daughter Rebecca. I had a house full of my precious family and yet, off and on all night.........and especially now....... my tears kept falling. My heart is broken........and I'm so sad I can't even voice the pain I'm feeling.

I want my son here with us........ I need to have him here, with his wife and children and with his parents. I can't face this any longer.....it's pure hell on earth. How do I get this sorrow under control? It seems to be controlling me lately.........

So, after a house full for the day and evening, it's back to just my husband, Frank and me. The silence is deafening......... I miss my son, oh God....... I miss my son.

Scott's brother Michael and wife Tara went out to the cemetery to visit him and came back so sad. I didn't go, I don't need to visit him there,and I knew that would be it for me for the rest of the day.... and I couldn't do it, not tonight with all the famiily here.... but I'll go tomorrow morning.

This is even harder than last year........ I'm hurting so badly I can't stand it. We've been invited to my daughter's for dinner but I think we'll just stay home and pretend like it's just another day. I'm so very tired and so sad, I can't face anymore of Christmas this year.

I hope you're all ok. But, I know that sadness is with each of us tonight and tomorrow.

love, hugs, prayers,
jane

Author:  momma to3 boys [ Tue Dec 25, 2007 1:14 pm ]
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missing chris :( ,

Author:  Lynda [ Wed Dec 26, 2007 9:24 am ]
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Today I feel...
Sadness about a new year approaching. Each year that comes and goes is another number further from when I last saw my son. This is something I never even thought about prior to losing my Garion...but now I think of it every new year.
Hugs,
Lynda

Author:  Lynda [ Thu Dec 27, 2007 11:52 am ]
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Today I feel...
Disappointed but yet not surprised of the disrespect, disgust, and lowness of a certain someone. At the same time I am thankful for the angel families I have grown to love and I am also very thankful for a new friendship I have made in the midst of it all.
Hugs,
Lynda

Author:  Cookie7434 [ Thu Dec 27, 2007 11:46 pm ]
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Today I feel....
I have been so lost. Unbearable pain I carry in my heart. My love and prayers to all and to our Angels. I can hardly make it to the computer these days. God Bless

Author:  Cookie7434 [ Fri Dec 28, 2007 9:13 am ]
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Today so far I feel....
BLESSED, To have so many caring Friends here that lift me up in my darkest moments. Thank You....Sending my love and prayers.

Author:  Tonya [ Fri Dec 28, 2007 9:17 am ]
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Today I feel.....

So sad. I can't explain it; I know that I should be feeling happy and excited, but I just can't get rid of this sad feeling that keeps haunting me. :cry:

~Tonya~

Author:  JANE_E [ Fri Dec 28, 2007 3:43 pm ]
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I'm feeling so sad, so overwhelmed by everything. Today is Scott's little girl's birthday... she's seven year old now. He loves her so much. Yesterday her other grandparents had a party for her at Chuck E Cheese's. I went, but couldn't stay, I didn't want anyone to see me cry... Her dad would have been there with her.

Now I'm starting to see her cling to Scott's older brother Mike and I know it's because he looks & sounds so much like her dad.

Tomorrow is Scott's birthday. Today in the newspaper I saw the obituary of one of our closest friend's sister. We've known her forever.....

So, I'm going to get showered, put on a happy face for when Rebecca gets here and we'll go out to dinner and give her our presents and celebrate her birthday. Then tomorrow, we'll go to the cemetery and visit our son.

Life shouldn't be so sad, Life should be lived fully, with joy and with faith and love, but sometimes.......things happen that challenge our ability to live with those values..... they get crowded out by grief.

Author:  Cindy [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 12:59 pm ]
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I'm so sad. The tears come when I'm not meaning to cry. I'm ok one minute and not the next. The up and downs make me so tired. :cry:

Author:  JANE_E [ Mon Dec 31, 2007 1:23 am ]
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I understand Cindy......... we probably all share this same thing. Sometimes I don't even know I'm crying until I feel the tears start falling.

I love you my friend and I wish we had some power to help each other in times like these, Prayer is all I have to offer, but it's the most powerful thing I can do for anyone.

love you,
jane

Author:  momma to3 boys [ Thu Jan 03, 2008 6:36 pm ]
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not good :(

Author:  momma to3 boys [ Tue Jan 08, 2008 4:41 pm ]
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today i feel worse then ever,went to couceling,but hated it

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