I'm so sad and dreading this next week so much.
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| Today I Feel.............. http://forum.last-memories.com/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=825 |
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| Author: | JANE_E [ Fri Nov 23, 2007 4:02 pm ] |
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Carla, I'm so sorry......... sorry you were sick and sorry someone could hurt your heart like that. We're so vulnerable to more pain........... we're so "raw" from trying to make it from one day to the next. Sometimes it doesn't take much to hurt us....... and people think they can say whatever pops into their minds. One day at a time............. and I try so hard to not let my heart leak out all the hurt it's feeling............... that's why I want to stay home and not go anyplace. It's a challenge to make it from one hour to the next, much less one day to the next. Love, jane |
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| Author: | Cindy [ Fri Nov 23, 2007 4:17 pm ] |
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I'm so sad and dreading this next week so much.
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| Author: | Jo Ann [ Mon Nov 26, 2007 10:47 am ] |
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Dear Cindy, I just noticed that B.J.'s death date is December 1, 2003. Krystal's death death is only 9 [/u[u]]days after B.J.'s, on December 10, 2003. Within 9 days we both had our precious child die. I do not know why I never noticed that before. I am sending you love and understanding as we both face the 4th anniversary of B.J. and Krystal's death. I literally feel like I am losing it right now, and I know you understand, as do all the bereaved parents on this site. Love, |
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| Author: | Cindy [ Mon Nov 26, 2007 11:43 am ] |
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Thank you JoAnn. Yes I knew Krystal and B.J.'s dates were close together. And yes it's awful isn't it? The closer it gets the harder it gets. For some reason I thought this year would be different. Maybe because for the last 6 months or so it has been a little easier to function up until about a month ago. Now it's coming back with a force like always. I guess this time of the year will always be hard. All I know is I miss my B.J. and I want him to come home. It hit me the other night that this will be our 5th Christmas without him even though it's been just 4 years that he's been gone. JoAnn, it's the same for you. Where has all those Christmas' gone? I guess I've just been in a fog. I just can't believe it because it just seems like yesterday. Yet at the same time it feels like an eternity! It makes me crazy! Hugs and prayers, Cindy |
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| Author: | momma to3 boys [ Mon Nov 26, 2007 7:13 pm ] |
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today i feel weak,and sad.I will hang on to Jesus. |
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| Author: | Cindy [ Mon Nov 26, 2007 11:29 pm ] |
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Yes Carla keep holding on to Jesus and He'll carry you. Love and prayers, Cindy |
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| Author: | JANE_E [ Tue Nov 27, 2007 4:11 am ] |
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I'm feeling absolutely desperate........... I just read that Krystal & BJ's anniversaries are coming up so soon....... I was already crying but now, it's even worse. I cry for everybody........... I'm just so sad...........I can't find a way to stay out of this pit for more than a day or two at a time and then I find myself crying every time I turn around and I have no interest in putting on a big production for Christmas. I'm trying, but how do we do this? I know i have to make the effort for my grand kids, especially Scott's, but my heart just struggles with it all every single day. I just don't know how to do it sometimes. |
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| Author: | Cindy [ Tue Nov 27, 2007 10:17 am ] |
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Jane, like Carla and I are...hold on to Jesus. It's the only way we can make it. Hugs, Cindy |
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| Author: | Cindy [ Tue Nov 27, 2007 12:05 pm ] |
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| Author: | Cindy [ Tue Nov 27, 2007 4:07 pm ] |
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Tammy, I saw your post earlier but I just couldn't answer so I want to now. With all of my loses I still can't imagine what it must be like for you. I'm so sorry Tammy. Please know I keep you in my prayers always. I wish it could be so different. Please know I care and I love you, Cindy |
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| Author: | Cece [ Tue Nov 27, 2007 5:00 pm ] |
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A day does not go by without me thinking of each of you, my friends. I owe you all so much. I don't think I would have been able to survive this without you. I hurt for all of your losses. I can't imagine losing 3 children nor can I imagine losing an only child. I hurt for the the parents who have lost their babies. There is just no good time to lose a child. I fully expected that I would go first and welcome each of my children to heaven when their time came. This is just so backward. I pray more now then I ever have. Not really longer prayers, but many throughout the day. I may not be very eloquent, but I am sure God only cares that my prayers are sincere. And so, I pray for all of us to make it through one more day. I pray for peace in all of our hearts. I pray that we are visited by our missing children. I pray for my poor motherless grandchildren. And I pray that I will have the wherewith all to help to raise them. I pray for Mary and Frank who so generously took the boys into their home and love them like their own. All this pain saddens me deeply, but at the same time I am uplifted by the love and friendship we have found here. I love you all. God's blessings. Mama Lucy |
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| Author: | Jo Ann [ Tue Nov 27, 2007 9:07 pm ] |
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Oh Tammy, How wonderful that you and your MaMa are following your dream. Those little children who come to you and MaMa's Day Care will be blessed to be in a loving, kind, and safe environment. And you can give each little child love and tell them stories about Angelica. I know Angelica is so proud of her MaMa and GrandMaMa. Your Day Care will be a wonderful legacy for your sweet Angelica. I am so happy for you. Love, |
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| Author: | Tonya [ Wed Nov 28, 2007 9:50 am ] |
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My post today is going to consist of 2 entries..... First and foremost --- Tammy, I am so proud of you!!! What you and your Mama are doing is absolutely wonderful!!! To know that children will be coming to your facility to be cared for warms my heart more than you could ever imagine. I know that those children are going to receive the best care ever. I look forward to hearing all about the progress of the your Daycare; and I can't wait till it's up and running....I would love to come and visit!!!! Secondly.... When I first came on here today, I felt really bad. I don't know how to explain it. Last night we were getting the house decorated for the holidays, figuring out where we were going to put this or that. And although Nadia was there and she was just as excited as ever, I couldn't help but feel empty and lost. The pain of knowing that, once again, I have to endure another holiday without Jaydon and Jordan is unbearable. And that emptiness and pain hit me like a ton of bricks. And it followed through to this morning. But then I read Tammy's entry about the daycare and that emptiness just dissipated. So I guess, in all reality, today I don't feel so bad. I still hurt and I am still hurting for everyone here. But I am full of pride and happiness for Tammy's new endeavor and I wish her all of the blessings in the world!!! I love you all!!! ~Tonya~ |
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| Author: | Cindy [ Wed Nov 28, 2007 12:07 pm ] |
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Well, I was doing ok today until I went to B.J.s site to get it ready for the Dec. 1st. I've put it off as long as I can. Needless to say I didn't do anything to it. Please pray I can, I have to. This is the first year I've had his site and I guess putting all those graphics for his death date is just getting the best of me. I guess I shouldn't have waited until now to do it. Lord help me get it done this day.
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| Author: | Tonya [ Wed Nov 28, 2007 12:23 pm ] |
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Cindy... I wish I could give you a great big hug. My dear friend, you are in my prayers today and always. God will give you the strength that you need to get B.J.'s site done. Keep your Faith and lean on Him, He won't let you down. I'm always here if you need anything. I love you, ~Tonya~ |
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