FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 02, 2007 01:27 PM
I did not go to work today I am with Sinjin and he is not doing well. He has sores inside of his mouth down his throat and in his stomach. He was crying this morning because it hurts to swallow. They told him he has to keep taking his pills but the pain for him is so bad when he has to take them. It hurts him to even talk. He keeps trying to spit out even his own saliva so he doesn't have to swallow it. He refuses to eat or drink anything now. He is running a fever and his white blood (wbc) count is only 0.4 he is neutropenic. Normal wbc is 4.8 -10.8 His gran # is 0.06 Red blood count is only 2.36 normal would be 4.8 - 10.8. They are giving him Neupogen. The doctor said you are supposed to wait till all the chemo is out of him before they give him the neupogen but she says we can't wait any longer because his level of methotrexate is now only down to .27 it was at .28 yesterday. Sinjin is sleeping now and I thank God for that the pain is to much for him when he is awake. My emotions are all over the place right now... I'm sad and at the same time angry and scared. As I wake each morning I look up to heaven and whisper...no goodbyes today... I can't loose Sinjin he is my very soul and he is my world. The nurse is here so I will journal more a little later.
Livingstrong with courage, faith and hope
Sinjin's mom