4 years ago today...

Cindy · **Posted:** Fri Nov 09, 2007 10:19 am

It was 4 years ago today on Nov.9,2003 that B.J. had his last doctors appt. They told him then that come the first of December he should be able to come off of a "lot" of his medicines. They had told him if he could keep from rejecting his kidney for 6 months the chances were good that he wouldn't lose it. He kept his kidney for 6 months 3 weeks and 5 days and on Dec.1st he came off of "all" of his medicine because he died. Now just how messed up is that? Something just ain't right about it! Everything about it is just wrong! I'll never understand...
Everytime I think I've come to accept this it just comes right back. I'm so tired. I miss B.J. so much. I would have took care of my boy for the rest of my life and he knew it. I love him so much. ~ Cindy

Barbara · **Posted:** Fri Nov 09, 2007 10:32 am

Cindy,
The tears flow and my heart breaks for you.I know that was very,very hard.We would all take care of our children forever no matter what we had to endure.Life just isn't fair we should not out live our children.I wish there was something I could do to take away your pain but I know first hand, short of bringing back our boys ,that can't be done.We will always miss them so much!! You will always be in my heart and prayers and so will B.J
love and hugs,
Barbara

Tonya · **Posted:** Fri Nov 09, 2007 10:59 am

Cindy,

You are in my thoughts and prayers. This journey that we are all on just stinks, doesn't it? You're absolutely right, it's not fair. There's nothing about it that's fair. I wish I could understand, I really do. One day, everything will be made clear for us; until then, all we have are memories and each other.

I'm always here for you!!!!!! Sending you many, many gentle hugs.....

I love you!
~Tonya~

momma to3 boys · **Joined:** Fri Aug 31, 2007 2:34 pm **Posts:** 171

Cindy,i am so sorry.

Jo* · **Posted:** Fri Nov 09, 2007 12:48 pm

{{{Cindy}}},

I agree....it's just wrong...plain ole wrong....no other words to describe it.

I wish I could come to an understanding of why my son is not with me here on earth. I know I'll never be able to accept it, much less ever understand it.

My heart hurts right alongside you. Although I can't ease the pain you feel, please know your precious buddy B.J. has someone who thinks about him everyday.

Love & {{Hugs}},
Jo (Kevin's mom forever and ever)

Cindy · **Posted:** Fri Nov 09, 2007 1:51 pm

Thank you so much. God today is so hard. This whole month just stinks, there's so many sad memories in it. Just when I think I'm ok it hits all over again. Look at his pictures, he didn't look like he was fixing to die. Does he look like he was to ya'll? I don't care if he had bad kidneys his whole life, he wasn't sickly. He was a strong boy, I just don't know what happened. I've heard it so many times that I "knew" I would outlive him. That's so wrong, I did not. I never believed that. He was so full of life! I miss him so much. He was my Buddy, we were always so close. God I miss him. I know it was his time to go but I didn't want him to, I didn't want him to. No one here (in my life) understands that I miss him more everyday. I'll never understand, I loved him with all I had in me. It just makes me crazy! :cry:

Tonya · **Posted:** Fri Nov 09, 2007 2:59 pm

Cindy,

I am sending you many, many gentle hugs.

I love you -
~Tonya~

Barbara · **Posted:** Fri Nov 09, 2007 3:31 pm

We all Love you Cindy.Many,Many ((((((((HUGS))))))).
Prayers,
Barbara

Cece · **Posted:** Fri Nov 09, 2007 3:35 pm

Cindy, My heart is with you. And many prayers too.

Tanya · **Posted:** Fri Nov 09, 2007 3:59 pm

Cindy~

I wanted to post to you earlier but didn't know what to say. Please know you are in my heart, my prayers and my thoughts.

God bless

Lynda · **Posted:** Fri Nov 09, 2007 5:08 pm

Dear Cindy,
None of this makes sense...a child making his or home in heaven before his parents doesn't make sense. That is why it is so important to lean on Jesus. I know you know this already, you have had to remind me of this very thing several times in the short time we have known each other...and I am sure we will be telling each other this for the rest of our lives. Love ya! (((PRAYERS)))
Hugs,
Lynda

Patsy-VernsMom · **Posted:** Fri Nov 09, 2007 11:10 pm

Cindy-Thinking of you and sending you hugs, you are in my prayers.

Patsy

4 years ago today...

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