I went to walmart yesterday evening,I had to get Jake some medicine,as i walked in i ran into Chris,s good friend.he hugged me and looked at me with that sad look. it upset me but i went in to walmart,right as i walked in there was Thanksgiving stuff everywhere .it was so overwhelming.i got my self together and said i can do this.i got my list out and tried to just look at it.on my list was Chritmas flowers for Chris,s resting place.i pushed through all the happy festive people shopping and buying holiday stuff.as i got to the flowers i stopped and was picking some out,till i realized this is for my beautiful,loved son i cared for with joy and now here i stand buying flowers for his resting spot.I cried and had to go to a isle with no one there.last year i couldnt go in the stores.it didnt dawn on me how much it hurts to go in stores this time of year. .my husband and i get to the register and the young girl asked if were are ready foy Thanksgiving.i looked at her and it just came out.i said no and will never be.i dont have chris here.i couldnt just smile and say yes.i told her what happened to chris.she said .i know my brother got hit too ,but hes still here.i just looked at her .Chris didnt make it
i dont want to go on ,it hurts to much.today is really making me sad.im sorry i had to vent .its killing me know chris cant be here