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 Post subject: Just saying to this forum
PostPosted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 7:24 am 
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Joined: Sat Mar 29, 2008 6:03 am
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My name is Michele and I am 38 yrs old single mom to 15 yr old twin boys. These last two years have been extremely hard for us. On August 15th, 2006 we lost my father, he was 64. He suffered for a good many years with strokes, diabetes, lost his leg which devastated him, he was also in renal failure which required peritoneal dialysis. He spent alot of time in and out of nursing homes for rehab etc for about 2 years prior to his death. We finally brought him home in June of 2007, we told him on his birthday which was June 10th and he was absolutely thrilled, to come home to be with my mom, me, my children and my brother. I remember the night he died, my mom came into me around 3 am and said the hospital called and requested permission to place him on a ventilator to help him breathe and I knew right then and there he wasnt going to survive the night and shortly after 5am she came in and told me he was gone. I was numb because not only I had just lost my father, two days prior to his death, his sister died suddenly and he didnt even know because his doctor wanted to wait until he had his surgery to remove the tubing for the dialysis (he had an infection) He ended up dying of a massive heart attack. It was a hard time for our family at that point because his mother my dear grandmother now 89 years old now lost 2 children within 2 days of each other and a year prior lost her youngest to cancer, so imagine that, outliving all your children, I dont know how she does it she says her faith in God gets her through. My mom I dont think ever really recovered from my fathers death, they were married for 38 yrs. Then shortly after my dad passed my mom started to have some serious health issues stemming from a gastric bypass she had about a year prior, she was a big lady with alot of health problems and I had done it at the time 3 years prior and she decided that she wanted to do this, she wanted to be healthly and she used the same surgeon I did. It seemed like for the next year after my dad passed everytime we turned around, mom was in the hospital or in a nursing home for rehab there was just so much wrong with her and the bottom line was in the end the original surgeon botched her surgery and wouldnt help her when she tried to explain, she couldnt keep food down, she was losing weight rapidly, faster than she should have been, I suggested maybe she had a stricture, he told me no way last time she saw him was to remove a feeding tube and while we were waiting for him it came out on its own, he came in, looked at the site where the tube was, said go home and eat, you are on your own. I was speechless and usually I am the first one to open my mouth and rip someone. I told her thats it, we are done with this doctor, done with this hospital I have someone for you to see. Sees new doctor, he confirms exactly what I said was wrong and not only that, her stomach was all screwed up requiring that she have the surgery over again, this was July of 2007. Even though he did a fantastic job, gave back her ability to eat and boy did she eat, we gave her whatever she wanted and enjoyed watching her eat and not be sick but alas the damage was done, she was severely malnourished and on Nov 12th entered the hospital again I found her to be lethargic and couldnt get hardly any response from her. They got her to the ER I called my brother, I said you gotta come here with me, I cant do this alone anymore, she all of a sudden rallied said she was hungry, asked my brother for his cell phone to call her sister and then they asked us to step out so they could put in an iv and change her into a johnny coat next thing we know, the trauma team rushes in and we are like looking at each other like whoa whats going on, the doc comes out says she had a seizure and they had a difficult time bringing her out of it and then requested to place her on a ventilator to help her breath, take the stress off her other organs and we knew that both our parents wishes were not to be kept alive by artificial means and he assured us this was just a support measure and not a life support thing, off to ICU she goes and on Nov 30th, 5 days after her 62nd birthday with myself and my aunt (her older sister) she passed away. I didnt want to be there at first, I was scared, I was afraid that she would be struggling to breath, all sorts of things went through my mind but I have to say this and some may think its weird but I am glad I was with her when she left this world, it was one of the most beautiful peaceful things I have ever experienced. I am struggling really hard with this, she was the best mom anyone could have ever asked for,loving, supportive one of my best friends and I remember about 2 mins before she passed, her heart had stopped and they were just about to pronounce her and the damn thing starts up again, I told her to go, go be with Daddy and Johnny (my brother, we lost him almost 13 years ago to suicide) go be happy with them, go its ok and about a min later she was gone. I believe she needed to hear me say it was ok.

I know this is a long read, sometimes when I start typing I cant stop I dont know I think it helps me to get it out. I struggle every single day trying to deal with the loss of both my parents in less than 2 years. They were wonderful parents, you couldnt ask for better parents and I know it probably sounds childish in a way but if I could have one wish, I would want my family back, intact together like we always were, having fun, enjoying each others company, having our annual holiday parties, bbqs, birthdays everything. I am lost and I know my brother is, he is 6 years younger than me and i dont know how he deals with it because there are just some days I cant. Thank you for taking the time to read this and I know its long but like I said earlier, sometimes once I get starting typing/talking I cant shut up lol


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 3:04 pm 

Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 4:24 pm
Posts: 350
Location: Portland,Oregon
Michele, I'm sorry I didn't respond to your post earlier. I was away on a trip to visit my mom for her 87th birthday. I am so sorry for the loss of your parents. It is so weird that I am about the age of your parents (a little younger). and you are about the age of 2 of my daughters. My Laura would have been 40 in Feb. There are other similarities. I will send you a PM with my contact info. Please write or call.

Lucy Carter

In loving memory of, Laura Dawn 2/26/68-7/19/07, my first born child, my daughter, my friend.
In loving memory of, Myron H. (Ozzie) Osborne 8/22/22-3/29/89, My dad, my teacher, my hero.

Megan, Heather, Andrew,( Laura ), Mary, Jim, Russell

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