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 Post subject: Cant deal with the loss of my MoM.
PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 4:15 pm 
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I am 27 Years old. My mom just passed away on January 17, 2011 at the age of 53. She had been dealing with Stage 4 colon cancer and had 2 surgeries to get rid of it and than had been doing chemo every other week for about 6 months. On decemeber 28th, she had to be taken to the hospital bc she fell down her steps in the house and hurt herself. After hours there, they also found out she had pnemonuia. She was having issues breathing. She was in a small room with a roommate. After some hours on oxygen, she was having more issues breathing so they immeditly took her to Intermediate Intensive care. Late that night we left bc she was tired and needed to rest. The next morning i recieved a call bc she had to be put on a ventalator bc her breathing had gotten worse and also was moved to intensive care. She was there for almost 3 weeks and pretty much knocked out the whole time. There was times where she had her eyes open but had no clue what was going on although when she started moving around and was upset, i would hold her hand and talk to her and she would calm down so i know she knows we were there. The friday before she passed, they took her off the ventilator and was just on an oxygen mask bc she was doing better. ( A HUGE MISTAKE THE HOSPITAL DID AND I BLAME THEM FOR HER DEATH BUT ITS TOO MUCH TO GO INTO). Saturday i was there and she was awake and i started rubbing her hand and she looked at me and said " Your hand is cold". That was my mom, always cold. I laughed. We were talking, showing her pictures of my girls and watching the ravens game. From 7-8Pm you have to leave the room for shift changes. Thats when it all went down hill. Basically she was struggling to breath and had to be put back on the ventilator. We had a close call with her earlier in her hospital stay and were told she prolly wouldnt make it through the night so the whole family was there to say goodbye although i was never ready to say goodbye. Back to the present, We got the call that her breathing was worseing, and they had the vent up as high as it would go. Basically she was dying slowly. We ended up making the most painful decission in our lives and had the doctor give my mom extra sedation and turn off the machines so she wouldnt suffer anymore. I cant stand the fact i agreed to it anymore bc miracles happen everyday and my mom was a strong woman and i really think it wasnt her time to go but i will never know now. She passed on with us all at her bedside at 4:55pm on January 17, 2011. There is alot more to this but much to long to type. I have 3 siblings, 2 sisters and 1 brother. I am the youngest. I was my moms sweetpea. She was my bestfriend and i never let her go anywhere without me growing up. I miss her so much and i dont know how to deal with this. I have 3 young daughters and it kills me to know they wont have her growing up. She was way to young to go. I try so hard to not think about it but the minute i do, i loss it and i loss it bad. I need someone to talk too. I feel so alone and i cant stand it. If theres anyone else who has experienced something like i have, id love to talk to you.. :(


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 Post subject: Re: Cant deal with the loss of my MoM.
PostPosted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 10:55 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2011 10:52 pm
Posts: 1
hello my mom had colon cancer also and had been through alot. She passed away march 20 of this year. It has been really hard for me. would love to talk to you more since we are going through the same thing, do you have facebook so we can chat more?


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 Post subject: Re: Cant deal with the loss of my MoM.
PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2011 12:32 am 
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Joined: Sat Jul 09, 2011 12:13 am
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Hi my name is Geana and your post caught my eye. Not only did I lose my mom (three weeks ago) but also am the youngest with two sisters and a brother. I have two daughters. It seems we were both our moms "favorite" and probably why we seem to be hurting the most. I lost my mom from a heart attack so it was sudden. I got to the hospital and watched and "flipped out" while they were pounding on her chest. As sad and horrified as i was I saw a look in her eyes that said "please let me go" I then stopped them from trrying any more as they had already tried for over thirty minutes to bring her back. Well I guess it was her time they all said but guess what? I wasn't ready and yes that sounds selfish but i wasn't ready to lose the one person that has loved me so unconditionally and had always been there for me. Unfortunately its not our choice and the grief is so unbearable at times that Im not sure how to get through another day. So trust me when I say that I understand what you are going through and you are not alone with the way you are feeling. We only get one mom and I wish I could bring yours and mine back. Maybe we can take some comfort in thinking they will meet and look down on us and say "What great little sweetpeas we had" My heart goes out to you and know that your mom is proud of you !


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 Post subject: Re: Cant deal with the loss of my MoM.
PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2011 7:03 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2011 6:55 pm
Posts: 2
Its been a few months since you posted, but I'd like to tell you I am sorry for your loss. My Mom passed away 3 years ago Monday and I am still at a complete loss. I feel abandoned. Alone. I have a sister and two brothers still alive, but they don't do anything- we have not cleaned out Mom's house, I'm the only one who has even gone in three years. None of them take her flowers. None of them do a damned thing for her. I feel betrayed and angry and sad and despaired. I have nightmares about her death. It was very sudden and unexpected but how do I know she was not laying there waiting for help? I had talked to her Thursday and sometimes between Thursday night and Friday morning she passed. I knew friday that something was wrong. My kids miss her so much- the youngest has no memories of her. Which makes me ache for him.

I get to the point where I cannot even function near the anniversary of her death. Now, along with everything else, I am close to failing school because I cannot keep my head straight enough to concentrate. I lost insurance so I cannot go to therapy anymore.


If anyone out there wants to share, please reply.

Thank you.


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 Post subject: Re: Cant deal with the loss of my MoM.
PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 2:01 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 29, 2011 6:37 pm
Posts: 2
I know exactly how u are feeling .My mam passed away suddenly on the 1st of september 2011,
We were not prepared and never got to say goodbye to her , Only that day she found out she had a tumor And 8 hours later she died in my dad's arms:(
I still find it hard to believe she was in good spirtis and the doctors told her that day that the tumor was operable and she had a 99% chance of sucess ,She had been coughing blood up most of the day , And went to mc donalds with her friends that evening ,
The last message i got from her was on facebook that night before she fell asleep .
The thing i find hard to cope with is when she woke and screamed at my dad to diall 911 . She knew something was wrong and must have been so scared . Mammy never had a chance she threw up so much blood she was gone in seconds my poor da had blood everywhere , When i got that phonecall at 2am i will never forget the words my brother said ,i thought i was dreaming .
Mammy was only 59 in july and had hert first holiday to spain booked for the 25th september with daddy , All her clothes were ready and she was so excited . The only thing i find comfort in is her facebook page i send messages daily and always check it every day


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 Post subject: Re: Cant deal with the loss of my MoM.
PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 2:32 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2011 6:55 pm
Posts: 2
I am so sorry, that sounds terrible. I cannot make you feel better, but I can tell you that I feel for you. I am sorry for your loss, and I am sorry her passing was frightening and painful. Your father must be devastated as well.

I send my mom little notes here, light candles for her all the time.

If there is anything I can do for you, even if it is just listen, please respond.

Best wishes, and fond memories....


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 Post subject: Re: Cant deal with the loss of my MoM.
PostPosted: Sat Oct 13, 2012 1:22 am 
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Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2012 1:01 am
Posts: 5
I lost my dad on his 75th birthday at exactly 8 p.m. due to liver cancer. He is not an alcoholic but he eats too much pork and fats. Though it was too long ago, about 12 years had pass, but I can still recall the saddest time of my life, I remembered how we did not stop from crying at Adelaide funerals up to his funeral. Very sad but at least I know that he is now watching over me and my mom.


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 Post subject: Re: Cant deal with the loss of my MoM.
PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 7:58 am 
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Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2012 4:03 am
Posts: 37
I feel very sorry for loss of your mom. I pay my heartiest condolences to you and your family. May her soul rest in peace.

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