I am in the same boat. i am in Toronto ans the worst thing I had to do was tell my parents my brother had died in a motorcycle accident. it has been 6 years this past March and the pain is still here. It will never go away! I remember that night like it was yesterday. You need to remember the good times and all the memories you had together. Some people think I am probably the coldest person on earth. I sometimes show no emotion but I am literally dying of pain on the inside...Nobody sees my crying in the mornings while I drive to work , or when i see motorcycles on the road in the summer time.
i have done a lot in my brothers memory, planting a tree, scrapbooks, website, tattoo...etc
I feel better and I know t has helped me through. Having great friends and family helps too!
Should you want to talk, contact me.