Grief and Bereavement forum groups

Stages of Grief
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Author:  Drea [ Wed Sep 26, 2007 1:33 am ]
Post subject:  Stages of Grief

I'm going to dip into the Loss of Child forum and borrow one of their topics: Stages of Grief.

Five Stages Of Grief

Denial and Isolation.
At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, or longer.

The grieving person may then be furious at the person who inflicted the hurt (even if she's dead), or at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry with himself for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it.

Now the grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, "If I do this, will you take away the loss?"

The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath.

This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss.

What stage are you in? Have you gone through all of them? Or are you stuck in one part?

Author:  Drea [ Sat Sep 29, 2007 10:28 am ]
Post subject: 

Denial - This is where I'm at. Laura is NOT gone. She moved just over a year ago for Kansas. She's still in Kansas... she is NOT gone forever.

That's where it's at. I know if I want to fly there and see her, I will. I know if I REALLY need to talk to her, someone has to have her phone.. right? And next time I see her she's going to repeat the story about Andy yelling, "I'm mad!" That story can only be told in Laura's voice. I know she'll tell it again because she does everytime I see her.

It's just too hard to believe I can't do those things. But that's what it feels like.

So like I promised sis, I'll bring our Mexico photo album when I come visit you. Just like I promised. And you can see all the memories you gave us. I never thanked you enough.

Author:  IMISSMYDADDYANDBROTHER [ Wed Oct 17, 2007 1:47 am ]
Post subject:  wishfull thinking

Sunday was my brothers 37th birthday and i found myself trying to call him yet couldn't find the number. i felt so bad not calling him and voiced my feelings to a few friends only to have them look at me like i was insane. They couldn't get the words out quick enough to tell me he was gone. It is oct and i know that halloween night he will be hereto go out with the kids and he will stay for my sons birthday on the 1st. i know he will be here, he is always here. He will dress up as a gorilla and make a ass out of himself as ussual. he has to be here he never misses trick or treating. I know deep down this is wishfull thinking but i just want one more hug one more anything quite honestly. :(

Author:  tiny116 [ Wed Jun 04, 2008 4:16 am ]
Post subject: 

Thanks for that. It makes a lot of sense.

They say denial is the shock absorber of the soul

Author:  marym313 [ Sun Dec 06, 2009 11:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Stages of Grief

It's a year today that I lost my brother and the pain that I'm feeling right now is as strong as it was the moment I got the phone call. I don't know how to deal with it. I started feeling it last week, my niece has his old cell phone and hasn't taken his voice off of the voicemail. i had to call her and got the voicemail and I freaked out when I heard his voice. I don't know what stage of grief I'm in right now, but I've been pretty much numb for a year now. Does it ever get easier?

Author:  Malisa [ Sun Mar 14, 2010 1:29 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Stages of Grief

Anger I'm so very angry with my sister and that sounds so bad

Author:  BRANDYE5921 [ Mon Jun 07, 2010 9:34 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Stages of Grief

No One Knows A Siblings Pain
by Brandye Jackson

On Friday night’s I’d say “I wanna go------”
He’d say “Let’s go to French’s”

We knew each other like that, he could finish my thoughts.
Can you understand why his death has me lost.

I could tell him secrets, they never left his lips.
I know that, for by now, someone would have slipped.

Sometimes when I was really down,
and thought no one could see,
He’d sit beside me on the couch,
and put his arm around me,

He wouldn’t say a word, he sat silently instead,
He didn’t have to, I could hear him in my head,

“Sis, everything will be alright, I’ll give you time to cry,
then I’m going to get a six, we’ll talk about it tonight”

You see, my brother was my friend, in good times and in bad
No one will ever know the closeness that we had,

Derek I love you and miss you,
My life will never be the same,
I’m trying will some difficulty,
To ease this never ending pain…..

Author:  baligo [ Wed Jan 05, 2011 1:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Stages of Grief

I'm still angry at myself and still sad for not being fully there for my sister during her leukemia
chemo. Guilt isn't effective it's not helpful so I hope to forgive myself I was too scared and so much wanted her to do some of the alternative holistic treatments along with what she was doing. However we didn't agree on things like that.
In most of life in didn't matter because we would always agree to disagree. This was too important.I should have gone with her to the chemo sessions like her friend John did. I do believe that the chemo was what killed her, too strong. Still I wish I had supported her choices fully . I was with her till the end. I still feel so sad today and it's been almost 5 years, it comes in waves, i think I held back some of my grieving till now She would want me to get on with my life, she would want me to help others, she would want me to take advantage of still being alive and give love to her son my nephew as I do he's a sweetheart and sounds a lot like her. I know I must forgive myself and have compassion for myself and my loss, I miss her so much. Love you Nas, If I get through some more of the anger and admit to it or guilt feelings I think it will help my compassionate heart towards myself and others. Nas, you are so beautiful and hope you can feel my love. My heart goes out to those who have lost a sibling

Author:  TXCammy [ Thu Apr 21, 2011 2:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Stages of Grief

Anger. I am still angry at the doctors for not treating her right because she did not have insurance. I'm angry I was 9 hours away from her. Angry that the day before she died I had a sick to my gut feeling something was wrong and I needed to go see her and denied it for lack of funds. And yes I'm still angry at God for taking my best friend and little sister away from me.
Sometimes I still try to bargin. I just want to know why. Even though we are not supposed to ask why or try to understand it...I want to know.
Depression. Two years later and it sometimes feels like day one. I started going into labor early when I found out. My family paid for my depression pretty hard for thee first 6 months. Then I got a grip on it. I'm still depressed but try to keep a grip on it and hide it.
I've accepted the fact she's gone, I know it's real...but sometimes I wish my damn phone would ring and it'd be her on the other line. Or she'll walk in the door and lay on the couch and put her head in my lap and tell me "play with my hair". Anything but what the reality is! God I miss her!

Rena Faye Ronco
1/29/87 - 12/4/08
My little sister...gone at 21

Author:  devinder [ Sat Oct 12, 2013 8:15 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Stages of Grief

Thanks for posting stages of grief which create stress in mind. This stress sometime bring hair loss.

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