Mommy...
I know I'm too old to still be calling you "mommy" but you will always be my "mommy" to me. I miss you so much it hurts. We went to the cemetery today. I sat on your grave mommy, at your feet and for just a few seconds I felt as if I were sitting at the foot of your bed. I loved you so much mama. You were my mother, my best friend, my pillar of strength. No one can ever take your place and I will be forever orphaned and alone. I still don't believe you are gone even though it's been a year to the day. I feel as if you went away somewhere but will soon come back, will give me a call, will visit me as you had done so many times, will sleep in the bed beside me and we'll talk for hours again. Mommy, I promised you we'd leave together, that I wouldn't let you go alone to the world beyond. But you left so quickly, so suddenly mommy. I'm sorry I wasn't there to hold your hand as you took your last breath. I'm sorry I'm still alive when you are lying in the cold ground. I know you hated the cold. I had my surgery, mommy. I was wishing I wouldn't wake up, wishing I could join you. But it didn't happen. It hurts that I'm still here and you are gone. Please wait for me mommy. It won't be too long now. I should have gone first. After all, I was the sick one, the disabled one. You worried so much about me - and for everyone else, I know. Mommy you were an angel in life, I'm sure you are an angel now too. I still love you mommy and I AWAYS will.
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