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 Post subject: I need to talk this out of my system .
PostPosted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 3:42 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 3:44 am
Posts: 22
I'm not sure where this should go.
I need to talk this out of my system somewhere where the bride will not see it because I can't let my issues cloud her special day.
I know that nothing can change it and the sun will come up everyday and this to shall pass.
Where to start ?
August has been a month with special importance in my life for more than one reason and for many years it was a very happy month ,my birthday is in August , my daughters birthday was in August .
But for 7 years now it's been a month to just get though , then last year it became a month to try to 'pretend it just won't happen this year ' . 7 years ago this coming October 10th my girl was killed when a drunk driver ran her off the road , she was on her way to work. Last year the day before my birthday, my brother was killed when his semi truck and trailer loaded with oil field pipe caught the soft shoulder on a hair pin curve and went over a 20 foot embankment . ,
Now this Year what is a very happy occasion for a girl (April) who was a best friend and like a sister to my daughter since they were in kindergarten is getting married this month. I have not and will not in anyway ,say a word about how it is breaking my heart that my daughter will not be the maid of honor or will never have a wedding day of her own,, I have a wedding gift and have sent my RSVP to accept , and will go with all the love and best wishes for her and future . We have become close friends that share a common bond since my daughters passing,
Its just knowing that IF she ( my daughter ) was here she would be Aprils maid of honor ,,IF she was here April someday would have been her maid of honor ,,, yada yada yada ,,,
April and my Verna was the same age one month apart , Verna in August , April in September,
The wedding day is the halfway mark between the two birthdays and April is sharing her day with Verna in memory . They always 'celebrated ' their birthdays between themselves on that day. Next year ,August will be just what it is a sad month of no more birthdays and the loss of a loved one.

Vernas years were not long here,
The ones that were, fill me with cheer
But they are now memories I fear
And when I vist them they are so dear
I'll never see her again thats clear
So please excuse me, when my eyes do tear
My Brother I miss you so much

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