I don't know where to go - what to do - where I came from and w here I am going.

Since I posted here I have now lost my Mom- currently I am back in a hospital........4x in 11 days I am back in a hospital - I couldn't handle with the arrangements of my Mom's service. I did the unthinkable tonight..........No one understands, or wants to listen, sometimes it feels as if no one cares, or wants to care -------the truth is NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO CARE.......and thats OK - because I Don't know how to either! Especially for myself, the route I've been going I swear I too have some death wish only because I yearn to be back with my family - my brother yelling at me for using his portable phone or wearing his sneakers -------- Mom yelling at me for not recording Dancin' With The Stars - (Frank and her used to laugh at the show only because they liked it though so much) - now they are both Dancin' In The Stars -

and here I am ---- HERE I AM. WHY??? and when can I GO HOME TOO???? I thought I was home,....... I am the one who is AWAY - THEY WENT HOME, I JUST AM WAITING TO GET INVITED.

I understand kind of what you are feeling. This past summer in 49 days I lost all the male members of my family. On May 24th my father passed away from a blood clot. I was a Daddy's girl so my world shut down alot but I had my loving fiance to help me find my way back. Then on the morning of July 1st just when I was starting to feel like my life could go on I woke up to a thump in the night I turned on the light and my Joey was on the floor. I tried to do CPR but it did not work he died in my arms. My world stopped at that moment. When just ten days later my Grandfather passed away I was cold, numb, and just did not seem to care. I feel so bad now thinking back that I did not do right by him but I just could not at that time. Each day is cold, empty, life has no meaning or reason. I just function. I have to keep myself on a time schedule for every thing to the point of even taking baths, eating, drinking, or I will not do them. All I do is cry. I am so lonely even in a room of friends. I can not watch TV, go to movies, listen to music, eat certain foods, everything is a reminder of what I have lost. My "best" days are when it is gloomy outside, I guess because it looks like I feel. I just wanted you to know you were not alone in your feelings.

I m so sorry for lost of your mom. I understand your feelings and I also feel your pain. Mother's love is very important for children and We can't live without our parents. We needs them. You are in very critical situation.
Don't feel you are alone because your mother always with you in your soul. Death is the reality of our life. We can't do anything against God's power. I pray to God for relief your pain.
My condolences for you.
(((((((((HUGS)))))))))

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condolences

Lisa,
So sorry to hear of your tragedy. Is there anyone you can talk to? A distant relative, a church member or a professional? No one should have to deal with this much grief alone. I will be praying for you and your recovery.

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Sympathy Gifts

I can only try to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. It breaks my heart so much. I do know that when I lost my Dad I don't know what I would have done without Jesus Christ to lean on. Death is so hard to cope with, but if you haven't tried this, write your feelings down as often as you can, even the things directed to them that you would like to say to them if they were here. It helped me. Also, please check out ALWAYSINMYHEART.COM. I have one on my fathers grave with his beautiful shining face done in a patriotic way since he was in the military. It gave me a great feeling because I know how proud he would be to see how I honored him with it.
You will be in my prayers. May God help you and give you peace. love and hugs

I am so sorry for loss of your mother. I pray to The God to keep her soul in peace. I pray for your health too.

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