I am still trying to deal with the sorrow of losing both my little borther and big sister. My little brother was 43 and had heart issues but we never expected it to take his life so soon. He was in CICU in Panama City Beach for three weeks before he died. He was shocked back to life over 200 times successfully but we wondered what kind of damage that was doing to his already weak heart. Watching him suffer for weeks, being shocked so many times, took a toll on me and my little sister. He woke up twice while I was there, spoke to us, told us his bad dreams of being dead and getting buried...so sad. Also joked with us before going back into cardiac arrest. Brad died on December 20th, 2008. While we were in the hospital with him, our older sister was fighting for her life in Massachusettes. She had survived breast cancer (or so we thought) only to come home with ALL (acute lymphophic leukemia). We made the drive to Massachusettes in time to spend her last few days. She died on January 18th, 2009 (exactly 6 years from our mothers death). She was 10 days shy of her 54th birthday. I have had so much trouble dealing with their deaths...I was the middle child, right in between them both. We were so close, best friends! How does one move on? I still cry all the time...any suggestions? No time for group therapies or one on one, I work two jobs as it is now. I think that is how I survive, stay busy all the time. Living sad in Florida, carol
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