|Grief and Bereavement forum groups
|Page 1 of 1|
|Author:||Mary's Daughter [ Mon Feb 14, 2011 1:43 am ]|
|Post subject:||Final Arrangements|
Planning my mom's arrangements because she was to sick to do it herself was one of the worst experiences of my life.
Please don't leave all these things for the last minute. But I'd like more help telling us what we can do.
The whole family should've been in a shrinks office years ago. But if mom had made arrangements & let them be known I don't think things would've been so bad. But on the flip side...how do you do a POA when you don't trust nobody?
Living wills...DNR's...& POA's. I think even poor folks can do the living wills & DNR's. But what about the POA's. And again...what do you do when you don't trust anybody?
My mom could've done a will & told us what she wanted done with her house, money & junk. If she wanted everything sold then split evenly everything could've been sold & split evenly. But she let it go to probate. Most everything was sold & supposedly split evenly. But I think court rooms & attorneys saw more then they would've if she'd done a will.
I think she refused to do a will so she could avoid naming an admin. Having it go to probate forced us to pick an admin between us. I would've preferred her just giving it to my brother then court rooms & attorneys getting much of it. But what's done is done.
Then there's a casket, plot & headstone. At the time we weren't thinking about it & simply bought our mom a plot. It's possible everything near her was sold before we ever put her in. But they are now. So to be near her people will have to be cremated & shoved in with her. We'll have to have one big headstone for all. And that's if the cemetery allows this. Or we have to move her.
My mom's kids were all grown. My cousin that recently died left behind a teenage son. This boy's father has never had anything to do with him or paid child support. He used to beat at least my cousin...possibly their son too? Right now my cousin's parents have the boy. But since my cousin left nothing...can they keep him? If "dad" decides to fight...then what? My aunt & uncle didn't have enough to bury her...she had to be cremated. They sure don't have enough for attorneys to fight for their grandson.
How can poor people file wills explaining what they want done? I believe filing a will requires an attorney. We poor tend to blow it off thinking we've got nothing to leave people anyway but when you have kids yes you do.
I don't have to worry about my junk or my kid anymore. Everything I have is junk & I only have one kid so there's no one to fight over it. I do have a $10,000 life insurance policy for only $15/mo. But I don't think it'd be enough to move my mom & cover me. It would be more then enough to cremate me & shove me with my mom...give us a dual stone...plus leave the kid a little something. But that's if the cemetery will go for it.
Also that's provided anybody sees to it I'm put with my mom & we get a dual stone. I wouldn't be surprised if my ashes are forgotten about in a cemetery's storage unit. There's no central registry type deal. So if you can't afford an attorney & the few relatives you have left are mentally ill & could care less what do you do?
I've got memorials for most of my dead on 2 sites. People can't even post flowers/notes...& it's free. So I doubt I even get one of those.
|Page 1 of 1||All times are UTC - 4 hours|
|Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group