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 Post subject: I lost my brother...Frank ...my life will never be the same.
PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 3:52 am 
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Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 3:05 am
Posts: 13
Location: NJ
My brother Frank, died unexpectedly in our home 11/10/06....he was 31 yrs old. His untimely and sudden death was not just a shock of course, but well.....unbelievable!!

I'd like to share this with you all and my condolences and prayers go out to all of you.....

Frank was 31 when he died, and I at the time was 35. Our Father died 21 yrs ago from cancer, Frank was about 9 yrs old when he had died, and our Father's passing was extremely hard we were very young at the time, never even heard of cancer back then. However we knew he was going to eventually pass away due to his failing health, Dad was 40 when he had died. My Mom never remarried, in fact til this day she still wears her wedding ring/band. My Dad died here at home, which is where he had wanted to be. When God came to "take him home." prior to that he was in a coma-state, for about a week. When he finally did pass away, he died with a smile on his face! It was so sad but so peaceful.

My Mom raised us all by herself, with no help from even our Father's family. How nice is that???? They were very wealthy at the time, my brother was the only one who carrried the family last name, in other words if he had no kids, and unfortunately he did not, then the last name would be extent and now just about is.. needless to say our family on Dad's side wouldn't even buy us clothes for school. Our Mom never remarried, never brought another man into our home. However Dad's family lives next door to us. Well, Frank and I both lived at home to try to help her out, since Frank died I still am at home. Now its just her and I - no other brothers or sisters and we both never got married...

So his loss here is unbearable especially for my Mom........ I found my brother passed away in on his floor in his room that dreadful morning. My Mom heard him snoring away as she was getting ready to go to work...she went in early that morning to work but woke me up prior to her leaving. He seemed fine she said, no coughing, no noise of any kind except for his typical snoring. It was after she had left within an hour or two I found him in his room on his back as peaceful as can be...but when I touched him.....I knew he was gone. I recall thinking OMG! How do I tell this to my Mother????????? He was her life. To make a long story short which is currently under investigation.....an Aunt and Uncle of our's who live next door to us.......gave him something,,... and it was a tiny little amount according to the medical examiner, but I was aslo told by the ME that ANYONE who had that in their system even the same amount would be dead. This is why an investigation an active one at that, is still going on. So I can't reveal no more then that....

However to find someone dead, especially your brother as I did, having to call my Mom as I did - heck I went right into autopilot......still am at times too. Then to top it off it was all due to an Aunt of our's and her husband who is an in-law to the family!!!!!!

My life from that moment on will never be the same ever again. My Mother cries herself to sleep every single night since - sometimes while in the middle of sleeping she cries without knowing that she even is! It was and is such a shock, it's like - "hey where did he go? He was just here 8 hrs before and totally fine!" I do my best to help my Mom, I do at times need to remind her that I am not Dad, I am not Frankie, I am just me...I sometimes have to be my Dad, brother, myself and also even my Mom.

This is so hard... at least I don't drink or anything like that. But thanks to my own family my Aunt and Uncle, my brother is gone.... well he's not gone, he "went HOME." and is with my Father.

My heart goes out to all of you who have lost a brother or sister.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 10:46 am 
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Joined: Thu Aug 30, 2007 2:36 am
Posts: 126
Location: Beaverton, Oregon
Oh Lisa I'm so sorry! :( I will keep you and your mother in my thoughts during the investigation!

I would like to invite you to join the forum Loss of a Sibling. It's still new so I'm still trying to get the ball rolling. Hope to see you there.

Take care hun, we are all here for you! (((hugs)))

_________________
Drea

"Angels may not come when you call them, but they'll always be there when you need them."

Visit my sister-in-law's site:
http://laura-dawn.last-memories.com

Image

In Memory:
Marcye 1999 ~ Mike 2007 ~ Uncle Stan 2007 ~ Elliott 2007 ~ Laura 2007


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 Post subject: Thank you..
PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 3:22 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 3:05 am
Posts: 13
Location: NJ
Drea, and everyone -

(Btw here is the link to my brother's page, I am still working on it but here it is if you'd like to see it and him http://frank-rambone.last-memories.com/index.php


Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers... I must say, it's so hard on me and for me. So many demands I have had placed on me.....in terms of taking care of things here at home, keep an eye on my Mother who would just love to go next door and demand from them what and why did they and I'll put it into her words "what was given to him and why? You people (our relatives) killed my son! (her son/my brother)......she has every right as I do to know but we would never go over there. I/We wrote them off and the police ......even more so then the police GOD will take care of them, and GOD knows what happened to my brother. He is the ultimate judge. I do have faith in Him and as I said, I do know Frank is with my Dad so that's how I keep myself in check.... My Mother and her uncontrollable crying is so awful to have to see her go through. All day when she is at work, I have "ME" time - that's when I do my thinking, grieving etc (when the urge comes) I like to do it in private as you can understand.......but when my Mom comes home from work.....I have to relive it all over again because when she gets home its when she does her grieving.

She puts a lot of responsibility on me, sometimes its as if I don't do enough, (and trust me.....cuttng an acre of grass with a push mower, climbing ladders to trim 1/2 acre of hedges, cleaning the house, laundry, shopping, making dinner, keep on top of our bills, go to my own job 40 hrs per week....and somewhere in between all that I find time for myself. Long story short, she's my Mother, I do love her so much, but she expects me to be my brother in a sense of course as far as doing the things such as the yardwork etc... her and him a great bond as most Mothers do with their sons,.....I was closer to my Dad then with my Mom, it doesn't mean I love her any less of course not but we just never had a real close bond........so when she gets all worked up and upset, she yells at me, puts so many demands on me, even puts me down, what I do is never good enough.......she keeps telling me "you don't know what it's like to lose a son or child, you have no children" she's right, I don't and I don't know what she is going thru AS A MOTHER...but my comeback is to her: "Well you don't know what its like to lose a brother and be the one to find him dead as well!" So, we bicker some, its just frustration built up all due from this senseless death of his.....normally when someone dies, families bond together Aunts, Uncles, cousins etc - but in this case we had to sever all ties of course and will never be a family again, and I know I will NEVER speak to any of them ever again. Needless to say, your reply Drea and taking the time to do so, means so much to me....thank you. Your in my thoughts and prayers too!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 10:29 am 
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Joined: Thu Aug 30, 2007 2:36 am
Posts: 126
Location: Beaverton, Oregon
We are all here for unfortunate reasons. I will always be here to listen as everyone is here to listen to me. Please don't ever be afraid to vent or just say what's on your mind.

And again, I invite you to the forum Loss of a Sibling: http://forum.last-memories.com/viewforum.php?f=16

There are others there who can relate to us losing a brother/sister. Keep sharing your thoughts Lisa. I will keep you in mine.

Take care,
Drea (((hugs)))

_________________
Drea

"Angels may not come when you call them, but they'll always be there when you need them."

Visit my sister-in-law's site:
http://laura-dawn.last-memories.com

Image

In Memory:
Marcye 1999 ~ Mike 2007 ~ Uncle Stan 2007 ~ Elliott 2007 ~ Laura 2007


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 Post subject: Re: I lost my brother...Frank ...my life will never be the same.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 6:48 am 
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Joined: Mon Jul 06, 2009 3:44 am
Posts: 26
Liza
I feel so sorry for heard about your brother. Sudden death is really unbelievable and difficult to accept it. My uncle passed away 3years ago and it was also sudden death. Its really shocked me. When we lost our loved one, life is totally changed and life looks like curse.
It is difficult time for you and your family. I pray to God for you and your family. My condolences for you, please accept it.

condolence message


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