I saw him Friday night, nothing out of the norm...we listened to music and had taco's from a local restaurant like usual. The only difference is that we didn't fight or even have a disagreement. We watched a movie and he had to get up early to go to work the next day so we called it a night early. I remember that night, it was hot and I couldn't sleep. We both kept tossing and turning, I remember telling him I loved him twice that night, both times he dismissed it as if it meant nothing. The next morning we hugged goodbye and made plans to hang out in a few days. Two days later her died. I knew and loved Bert for four years. He was amazing. I had always felt more intensely than he did about the relationship, or perhaps I just put myself out there more. I feel good about telling him how I felt, I always told him to tell people how you felt because you might not get the chance another time. I'm not entirely sure how he felt about me. But, a few nights after his death I had a dream that he was healthier and he kissed me passionately...and I kind of feel like he came to me to say goodbye and that he did love me.
_________________ Sleep, and let your bones settle
You're allowed to be fragile. There's no need to rebel.
It would be too easy if I knew all of the answers.
But the heart can be cruel, so you've gotta be careful.
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