Hello,
I know at times like this is hard to not feel alone but there are others out there who can relate to how you are feeling.
I suggest a local support group, google your location and if you feel a desire to talk to others who have relatives that died by suicide then search for that group. Or for a grief support group. Don't let it scare you, you can attend these groups and just listen, so don't feel like you have to share in the beginning. There were people who attended our group who needed to tell their story and there were others who just listened.
When my sister died in 2004 from suicide I found a support group and attended regularly in the beginning now I don't feel the need.
My Mom died in 2003 and my oldest Sister took her life on my Mom's birthday the following year in 2004. So my point is, there is light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to work to get there. It never goes a way you just get use to them not being here. That"s how I feel anyway.
http://d-carles-guillot.last-memories.com/Here is my Sister's site, it is my own form of therapy.
Sending you blessings of peace,
Tina