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 Post subject: My soul is destroyed.
PostPosted: Tue Jul 19, 2011 8:33 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2011 8:16 pm
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On July 8, 2011, I lost my newborn son and newborn daughter to RDS and IVH. They were 38 days old. I can't begin to describe how I feel because I'm not sure exactly, but cheated and robbed come to mind. When I'm not in the fog that seems to be my existence, I'm mad at the world. I can't wrap my head around the fact that they are gone. I sit staring at their pictures and the tiny boxes of their cremains hoping this nightmare isn't my reality. I can't relate to the people around me because I feel consumed by the loss. My poor, sweet, darling babies I feel as though my soul had been torn out and nothing is left.


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 Post subject: Re: My soul is destroyed.
PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2011 12:59 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 25, 2011 12:52 pm
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I am so very sorry for your loss and I know those words seem empty and meaningless, I lost 3 babies. My first was a miscarriage, my second Anthony lived for 4 hours then died and my third my daughter Shawnna died during delivery. I can only say I understand your pain. I cant even say that tomorrow you will feel better because it's been 24 years since I lost Shawnna, but I do know that I did finally have one living child who just turned 22 years old -Jc. The greatest human sorrow is to have loved and never to have felt that love in return. Please hang in there and know that I cry tears for you too today. Just wanted you to hear from someone who has been where you are. God Bless, Teri


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 Post subject: Re: My soul is destroyed.
PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2011 2:10 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2011 8:16 pm
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Thank you. Another week has passed and I still can't believe that Remington and Kye are gone. Yesterday, as I drove I was thinking that I needed to hurt back to the NICU. Then I remembered they were no longer there. The tricks my memory plays seem cruel. I have other children, but it doesn't minimize the deaths of my babies. My other sons will never know their younger brother and sister. I don't even know what hurts the most right now. I'm struggling to plan the memorial because I want my family ands friends to understand how important and significant Remington and Kye both are even though my family and friends didn't get to meet them in the NICU.How can I pay tribute to my amazing babies? They deserve to be honored and remembered.


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