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Cindy,
Thank you, I can only imagine how horrible it was to make the decision to take your beloved BJ off of life support.......... I've thought about that so many times because we faced that with Franks daughter, Danni.
It wasn't really our decision, it was her husband's decision........but I was so frantic to find out why the doctor's didn't believe she'd wake up from the coma........ I talked to them and begged them, before that decision was made, was there another test they could do. They told me yes, there was one more but they were sure she was brain dead. They ran it on Wednesday, June 14 and the next morning the entire team of doctors met with us and gave us the results. They said there was no brain activity, and no reflexes and they were sure she would never be any better than she was. They said she could not breathe on her own and would be on a breathing machine as long as she lived.
That was so horrible........... I could not believe it had happened to our Danni........ She was so beautiful and so sweet and so kind. Her marriage was not happy at all but she loved him and strived to make him happy when nothing could........... Her husband made the decision to disconnect the machinery at 9 PM on Thursday night. She started struggling to breathe right away and passed at midnight. That was a nightmare. I was in absolute shock..........and it only got worse from that point on. Since she had committed suicide, the state coroner took possession of her body. We didn't leave the hospital until almost five am and had to drive 160 miles home.
Having to make that decision was more than I could do....... I was glad it wasn't my decision........... even though I knew it was the right one, I still don't think I could have done it. I trusted the doctors and believed they had run every test to confirm that she was already gone with God............. but still........her body was warm and as far as I could tell, still alive. Part of me wanted to hang onto her even if she would sleep forever.........but I believed that her husband made the right decision. It just made me feel so heartbroken to have to see them do it.
I'm so sorry you had to make that decision.......it's the most difficult decision a parent can make......... it was horrible. I watched them disconnect her and sat quietly while they did it and inside I was screaming no, no..........leave her on it, if only for a few more days........... but I didn't say a word.
Little did I know that in another four months we'd be back in the hospital with Scott, watching him pass into God's hands also.
And then, four months after Scott, my dear nephew Kenny passed also.
It was such a painful year. I'm so sorry when I think of you having to make that decision for your BJ.......... oh Cindy. You don't recover from something like that for a long, long time. I'm so sorry.
I Love you Cindy, you're always there for everyone else and I know the pain you carry in your own heart.
Love, hugs, Prayers,
jane
_________________ Scott Matthew HIll - 2 years old
To lose a child teaches one what the word bereavement really means. There is no loss equal to the loss of a child.
“We are each of us angels with only one wing. And we can only fly embracing each other."
~Luciano De Crescenzo
www.scottmatthew-hill.last-memories.com
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