EVERYONE JUST STAYS AWAY

momma to3 boys · **Joined:** Fri Aug 31, 2007 2:34 pm **Posts:** 171

I TOLD MY SISTER YESTERDAY ,HOW IT HURTS ME NO ONE LEAVES FLOWERS FOR CHRIS.HOW EVERYONE SAYS ITS SO PAINFUL.HOW DO THEY THINK I FEEL.IM CHRIS ,S MOM. IT TEARS MYHEART UP.MY PHONE DOENT RING.TO SEE EVERYONE EXCITED ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS AND HAPPY.I HAVE THIS DEEP PAIN IN MY CHEST AND NO ONE KNOWS IT,BECAUSE THEY CANT SEE HOW MY HEARTS BEEN TORN IN 2.I MISS CHRIS SO MUCH .MY HEAD HURTS SO MUCH TODAY

Barbara · **Posted:** Mon Nov 05, 2007 3:31 pm

Carla,
My heart breaks for you.I understand how your feeling.I know how it hurts when no one comes around or calls anymore they go on with there lives but we can't.I feel like i'm stuck in time.Missing Michael more and more.Wondering when he'll come home,knowing he never will.I don't have much holiday cheer this year either.
Its not fair we should lose our children.ITS NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chris' memory is forever etched in my heart.
sendiny you many,many (((HUGS)))
love,
Barbara

JANE_E · **Posted:** Mon Nov 05, 2007 9:51 pm

Dear Carla,

I feel the same way, I know it's natural for the rest of the world to move on, but I can't, I don't even want to. My heart is stuck in time and it will always be stuck where my son is.

I see flowers at his grave that his wife left, but no-one else seems to ever go there. It hurts so much........ I feel they have all just forgotten how painful it all was. They feel they must move forward, I don't even try.

My heart was seriously damaged by all this, I think it will surely stop beating, but it seems to keep on going. I don't want it to.......... I welcome the end........... but I think I'm destined to live to be old........... that's part of what I guess I've earned in life....to live a long life of sorrow and heart ache.

Sometimes I can't stand it, I just can't stand the sorrow. It hurts more than anything I've ever had to live with and my tears will never, ever stop flowing. I'm so damaged by this loss that I think I've lost my mind some days.

Yes Carla, I do understand. There truly is no pain like this.

Love
jane

Lynda · **Posted:** Tue Nov 06, 2007 12:08 am

Dear Carla,
I can understand every word you wrote. I don't understand either how people can just move on when I continue to feel stuck in the year 2005. We have Garion's ashes here with us at home, and I take care of him and the arrangement around him...until the day I am buried and he will be buried with me. That is why I did a memorial site since he doesn't have a grave site for loved ones to visit...I guess it doesn't matter what we have for loved ones to visit them, they just seem to stop coming no matter how convenient or inconvenient we make it for them

Hugs,
Lynda

Cindy · **Posted:** Tue Nov 06, 2007 12:31 am

Carla, I'm sorry I never answered you. I was going to call you and then I got the call about my friend and I wasn't fit to call anyone. I know what you're talking about. I don't understand why it has to be the way it is. I think it's because it just scares people too much. They're probably afraid it will happen to them. I don't know. I just wish it would help to tell them. But for me taking the time to tell them and it still not doing any good just seems to make it worse than ever. I'm sorry, please know I'm praying for you.
Love, Cindy

EVERYONE JUST STAYS AWAY

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